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female
,
anonymous
writes: Is he just playing games to intentionally hurt me?I Was in a relationship for 6 months with the love of my life, but we split up out of the blue because he was scared of falling in love with me and wanted to be single (even though it was him who persued me for the first 4 months, and I didnt care so much). We have stayed friends since, and are sleeping together occasionally, but I also know he is sleeping with his other friend (although he assures me it is just for sex, he would never date her and its nothing more). Whenever I try and stop seeing him, or cut all contact from him he cries and tells me he doesnt know what he wants, he tells me he misses me and cant bear to think of losing me. When I tell him he has to choose between us, he says he chooses me. But when he ends up winning me over, he doesnt want to know anymore, and changes his mind back and says he cant ever give me commitment, and its unfair for me to stay in a situation where I am unhappy. So when I agree with him, and break contact, he calls again to tell me how much I mean to him. Is he just playing games with me? or is he genuinely confused about what he wants and doesnt want to hurt me? How can I find out for sure? Every time he apologises, he seems so sincere. its so confusing.
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female
reader, tide +, writes (13 October 2006):
Why do you adapt yourself to his needs? If you don't put some boundaires, he will never change your behaviour. So you know what you have to do...
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (13 October 2006):
I bet he does seem sincere, sounds like he's had lots of practice ;)) When you don't want him, he pulls on you, then when he has you, he doesn't want you. Even if it's not intentional - just convenient - I agree he doesn't seem to know what he wants. I don't think it will improve, sorry, something will have to give. There's already another girl on the scene, what if he meets someone else??
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2006): Guys are funny creatures to figure out... I think he wants you but wants his freedom at the same time!! I mean who is to know if he's saying the same things to this other "friend" of his too that he's sleeping with?? I would sit him down and tell him its time to grow up and make a decision as you are not going to waste your life away waiting on him to make up his mind as to who or what he wants! Tell him the way he's acting is just making you uphappy... be very blunt and honest with him!!
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