A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ive been going out with this guy for the past 3 months. we're both in the university. even if were dating, our status is still just friends because he doesnt want to have a relationship. it started this way. one day when we went out, we started kissing and saying how much we mean to each other. he was so into me, wanting to see me everyday, just as i am so into him. we were already close before all this happened. that day was followed by a couple more months of similar instances. however, he maintained that were still just friends and he doesnt love me as more than that. but we'd always end up kissing and being intimate during the past months especially when we're alone. we dont have sex but we're very intimate. and im happy with that set-up. i used to want to have a relationship with him, but since he made it clear that he cant give me that, then ive accepted it. lately, my problem is he wants to stop being intimate with me, he says what weve been doing is wrong. we're still always together and we still go out, but he doesn't kiss or hug me like before. he's changed very much, he used to always want to see me before, he's always the one initiating all the sexual things before, but now he doesnt anymore. i'm not happy with this anymore but i still want him.
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male
reader, ISOHaven +, writes (27 February 2009):
The way you described his actions reminds me of a situation I was in once. Except I was honest about my feelings. So let me describe what I went through.
For 4 years I had a crush on a gal at work. But i never did anything about it as I was married. The last 3 of those 4 years was a loveless marriage but all the same I remained true. Then the divorce came. After a couple months I made myself more and more available to this person. She not only returned my new found feelings but also came clean with having liked me for a while as well. So we had at it! But it soon became clear that regardless of how we felt about eachother she just wasn't right for me. I'm looking for a life partner, someone to have children with and she just wasn't putting into the relationship what I wanted or enough of what I wanted. So I stopped being as close, I stopped being as available. She of course noticed right away and wanted to know what was wrong. I told her I needed more. She wasn't willing to give more so that was that.
So, maybe your guy is like me. He likes you a LOT. He's very much into you but maybe he just doesn't see a future with you?
However, anyone can simply throw senarios at you until the cows come home. Your guy is only person that can tell you what he's thinking and how he feels.
If you are wanting more and he's not willing to give more then you will probably beat yourself up just like I did until you end it and move on.
I wish you luck my dear.
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