A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi All. Theres this guy I talk to regularly on facebook and sometimes I see him out. Hes really flirty over facebook with girls, including me.. but hes all talk and never acts on it. I'd go out for random drives with him and i learnt hes pretty shy actually but then as soon as i'd get home, he'd be flirting over text again.Anyways, two weeks ago I went over his house to chill.. We were chatting away, laughing and he seemed a lot more confident after a while, then I was very surprised when he leant in to kiss me and then initiated to go further. We ended up having sex but his shyness took over in the middle of the act and he went literally silent until he came. After, it was even more awkward because the conversation didnt flow as before.I eventually left and he text me vaguely to say goodnight. And i've never heard from him since, he comes on facebook and would usually pop up with some flirty line but now nothing.Im baffled. Is he really shy? Every time i've seen him, even at parties or in town, hes behind all his friends shyed away until somebody talks to him, but over the net or text he acts like some 'sexgod'. So despite this, is he just like every other man who gets what he wants and leaves? (Sorry to tar all men with the same brush)
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (2 February 2011):
 Well he sounds like it I'm afraid - regardless of how shy he is, he was brave enough to kiss you and have sex with you so he pretty much got what he wanted, and is probably now onto the next girl who falls for it.
The internet & texts give you more confidence than you could ever have in real life, because you can say anything without worrying about any 'real' implications. There is no body language to worry about or other people in a social setting, it is just one on one where you can say what you want and nothing bad could come of it. The worst he could get from a girl over a text is telling him to f**k off, whereas in real life he could get a slap, he could be humiliated in front of friend...etc. So the internet & texts are a great confidence boost because you can be whoever you want to be and say whatever you want - you can be the person you always wanted to be.
By the sounds of things, this guy has always secretly dreamed of being a sex god, player type man hence why he flirts with multiple girls and puts on this act - because he cant be that sex god in real life, but he can pretend he is online. It seems that he managed to get a moment of confidence when he slept with you, and then he has gone back to his old ways.
One possibility - he could be worried about how he performed or nervous to talk to you again, have you tried speaking to him first? Maybe if you initiate the conversation he might feel a bit better so you go back to your flirty ways. But if you start talking to him and he doesnt reply - when then that is the biggest sign that he was just using you and got what he wanted.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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