A ,
anonymous
writes: Dear cupid,
Me and my b/f have been going out for a week now and we already have had sex... I am starting to think thats all he wants. He is the nicest guy and he cares about me alot and he is always around me. I mean he opens the car door for me and everything. He tells me all the time that he feels special when he is around me and when he is having a bad day he knows i am there to make it better. Another problem is that he said this to methe other day " you make me feel so specail, kind of like love but i don't know." So I told him not to say i love you to me unless he means it. Was that a mistake i made? HE is just useing me? I really need to know. I really like him but i have been hurt before and i don't want it to happen again..
Thanks,
Heather
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): I know exactly what you mean. I just met this guy, well have been talking to him on the phone for two weeks, we will meet next week. I know sex is going to happen right away. I would say to relax and enjoy the moment. Don't take things too seriously, it's only been a short while. Now even after a months you can look at your relationship again. I think it depends on your age too. im 45 he's 53, and by this time you know.
I hope this helps
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a week or so,but we haven't actually went out on a date. He lives with my moms boyfriend and when i go up there to spend the night with my mom i see him. But we haven't had sex yet, but he kind of wants me to have sex with him and is kind of pushing it a little. Like he made out with me and then tried to have sex with me, but i said no so he didn't do anything. But then me and him started to sleep in the same bed. The first night he told me that i knew what i want, to see you naked. So does that sound like he just wants sex or not. He is very polite to me and hangs around me and everything like a normal boyfriend though and some times he don't even bother about sex though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2005): If you guys have only been together for a week and have been having sex I don’t know if he’s using you or not. That’s a tough choice, but if he’s opening the doors for you and is really polite, that works. Maybe you should ask him to slow things down for a little bit, if that’s what you want. But if it’s the sex you want also, then I wouldn’t think he would be using you, maybe he’s just trying to impress you.
As long as you guys are going out and doing other things besides having sex there’s really nothing to worry about yet until that’s all he wants to do with you. It also depends on how long you guys have known each other before you hooked up because if you guys just met eachother, then I’m not quite sure if the relationship will last in the first place if you guys just start having sex as soon as you meet each other.
Do what makes you feel better, if having sex makes you feel better, do it. If you want things to slow down so you know how he really feels about you and not just the sex, slow down a little bit and just tell him no until you feel that he really wants you for you and not just for the sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2005): I wonder if you say the same thing to him. If he doesn't
love you, he wouldn't say it all the time. He really cares
about you. I think you are insecure because your man is
very handsome and you think that he deserve someone more
beautiful than you are. That's rubbish. You should also
tell him the way he makes you crazy - I know he does 'cause
you wouldn't sleep with him in a first week.
You know how new love is...he'll open the door for you; buy
you roses; going to movies every weekend; spoiling you with
lots of gifts, etc. If he stops doing that, it doesn't mean
he no longer loves you but reaching another point in life
where you should discuss the most important things.
There are always ups and downs in a relationship and you
should be there in good or bad times. Show your man love
and make him feel like a king. He's yours baby.
From Edgar Matlala, South Africa
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