A
female
age
30-35,
*ULIE MIKE
writes:this guy i dated two years ago it wasnt that formal it was just getting to know each other so we broke up it wasnt even an issue,so ever since we have been good friends then after a while we met one day and had sex we were not in a relationship.then i just disconnected myself from him..he kept in touch and always called and texted so nowadays av grown fond of him we hook up have fun we talk alot and then i find myself opening up to him and even feel nervous when around him..the thing is he told me he likes me alot and am th woman he'd want to be with so i dont want to be taken a fool.could he be wantn sex or something casual because i want a relationship and he s not saying anything and i dont want to look stupid by looking like am suggesting something but i like him alot what do i do.please help
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male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (7 July 2012):
If you think he’s interested in you, tell him that you have feelings for him too, and agree to go on a date. Spend time getting to know each other, and don’t offer sex for now. If it’s just sex he wants, he’ll get bored and move on once he realises that you won’t be giving it to him any time soon, but if he does want to be with you he’ll agree to take things at whatever pace you are comfortable with and won’t pressure you in to having sex.
I wish you all the very best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2012): "we met one day and had sex we were not in a relationship"
"could he be wantn sex or something casual because i want a relationship"
He definitely wants only sex, and unfortunately since you've already had sex with him without any effort required on his part, you have absolutely zero chance for a relationship with him.
Sorry, but when a girl gives it up so easily to a guy, he's already getting what he wants from her so there's no incentive or benefit for him to take things any further since from his perspective she has nothing more to offer him.
Sad fact of life, but if a guy can get a girl into bed without offering a relationship, then she's never going to be anything more to him than an easy lay.
All you can do is learn from this experience and move on. If you want a relationship with a guy, then don't have sex without a relationship. Once you hit the sack with him, you've lost all your leverage.
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