A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear eveyone...I have a friend that I’ve been known him since college. For the last four years we become close friends and I consider him my best friends as I trust him and till him anything about my life. I’m 27 and he is 28 years old and we both professional and from a very strict community when it comes to homosexuality as it is considered a sin. Anyway, we are similar in the attitude however, I’m more liberal and open minded than him. Lately I’ve noticed that he always wants to hug me, ask me to sit next to him, sleep on my lap, flirting and stuff like that when we are alone. Sometimes when I refuse he begs and I tell him joking “are you gay!” “I’m not gay” or something similar and we change the topic or laugh about it. I’m virgin and he knows that, and I’ve been confused because I’m actually attracted to men more than women, I think I’m bisexual and I’ll be fine when I find the right girl. He is engaged now and I’m planning to do the same. Is he gay or curious? How shall I react? I don’t want to do something wrong or lose him. Thanks for reading Regards
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male
reader, supercutie +, writes (9 February 2011):
It certainly sounds like he is interested in you!I can't imagine a straight guy would want to sleep on another mans lap!How do you feel about him?If you were to both kiss for example how would feel about that?You could be bisexual or gay, he may feel the same way as you do.Getting engaged does not make a man straight!I understand your strict community being against homosexuality, and this can make it really difficult for you to be relaxed around the subject of homosexuality.When you are told as a child homosexuality is bad is a sin etc, it causes a real conflict inside of you if you do have feelings towards the same sex.My advice is to think about how you feel towards this guy, is he just a good friend, do you have any feelings for him in more than a friendship way?If you don't have any feelings like that and really do not want that kind of thing, then you need to tell your friend it feels uncomfortable for him to have his head on your lap. He will get the message.If you do have feelings towards him, when he has his head in your lap, give him a kiss on the forehead and see what his reaction is.The bottom line is if you are good friends and trust each other there really will not be any problem about you talking directly with him about how you are feeling. He is unlikely to be offended, and if it turns out all to be harmless fun, I'm sure you both will laugh about it, and have a stronger friendship as a result.Good luckLet us know how you get on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): I have a similar problem. Anyways maybe he's scared and curious? he's in a commitment and he may want to explore his choices while he can and sees you as the one he would like to explore with.If you guys are really close, he'd probably feel more comfortable with you. maybe try to flirt back a little when he does and see his reaction.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 When I was coming out as a bisexual woman and trying to see how my friends would react, I would first bring up homosexuality in a passing, non-personal kind of way and see how they reacted. Try that with him. Make sure you present it in an open-for-conversation kind of way without even a tinge of disapproval. Only curiosity. He may be wondering how to broach the topic with you, and giving him an opening in a safe, judgement-free zone, like when you two are hanging out alone might be the perfect way to get him to open up. If it seems like he's uncomfortable or standoffish, ease back. If he gets defensive or starts blasting off against homosexuality, maybe just state that you don't believe there's anything wrong with it. It's just how some people are. Maybe then, he'll feel more comfortable talking. Even if it's not right at that moment. From what you said, it definitely sounds like he might be interested in you. How interested, whether it's curiosity or true interest, I can't say, but it seems like there's something there.
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