A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I began dating a guy in May, last year. Overall, the relationship was good but we did have our ups and downs. We decided in October that we'd break it off temporily to make us stronger but during this break i had sexual contact with guy from work that i'd known from about a year. I felt really guilty, but i realised that my boyfriend was who i wanted, so we got back together, him not knowing what i had done during the break. After that things went from bad to worse and christmas was a nightmare and on boxing day we spilt up. I was destroyed and despite me trying to get him back, he said no. After about 2 weeks i started going out again and one night got invited to a friends party, it was amazing and i had alot of fun. Until the guy from work showed up and began ignoring me, so i decided to go over and talk to him. We went outisde and after kissing and talking, we ended up having sex, which i regreted the next day. I felt awful, especially as i found out he had a girlfriend. So i felt even worse than what i did before and to top it all off my ex boyfriend was looking for a new girlfriend. Sad, alone and feeling used i buried myself in my work and after about a month things started looking better. My friends were so supportive throughout everything and were always there for me which made me feel a bit better but i still felt part of me was missing.Even though things are looking up, it seems like when i'm having fun, my ex boyfriend decides to text message me and ask how i am, so then i ask his question and ask him how he is and he tells me everything is going great with his NEW girlfriendIs he doing this to make me jealous or just being friendly?Is he still in love with me?Please Help meX
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Hi,
it's hard to tell what's really going on here. If your ex found out about you sleeping with this other guy, he may very well be rubbing it in.
Or he may just be trying to stay friends. At the end of the day if his texting is making you uncomfortable then simply tell him to stop as it is making you feel bad. Easy.
But forget about any reconciliation you are both very young and enjoying your life - and yes that will probably mean more than a few sexual partners - so why waste this time dwelling on a relationship that was just not meant to be.
good luck
A
female
reader, speedcat  +, writes (25 February 2008):
If he is contacting you, then he IS holding on to you! What you need to do is next time he contacts you tell him straight out that he either needs to try to work things out with you or to stop all contact with you for good. See its like he dont want you ,,,but god forbid anyone else does so he keeps you hanging on to that bit of hope,,,this is not fair to you and you need to let him know that he cant do this to you! If you allow it he will keep doing it. And try to forget about your encounter with the guy at work, you didnt know he had a girlfriend! He did though! at that time you were single and your an adult so you did nothing wrong! Well hunny good luck! here if you need to talk!
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A
female
reader, Miss J +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Ohh god this one sounds like a tough one!! You obviously still love him and any contact from him makes you feel good! Must be heartbreaking to know someone you love has another girl in his life!!
This is hard to know whether he is just doing this to make you jelouse or cause he wants to be friends and hopes you like him have moved on. The only way in getting round this is by asking him if he feels anything for you still? Maybe this is just a rebound thing to try and make him get over you! You will never know unless you ask hun?!
Jen :)
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