A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I have been going out for about 2 years, and have known each other since middle school. He used to be open and caring and lately he has been distant and insensitive. He does not call me like he used to and he rarely says I love you anymore. I had broken up with him before my bday which was last week but we agreed to remain friends. So he would call me like everyday to see how I am doing. Finally he calls me and we had this long talk about us being in love with each other and trying it again, and to prove he was serious he is down for the weekend right now. (see we are 4 hours away since he is in the military) but now that he is down i ask if he could come to see my dad with me who is in the hospital and he refused to go saying that he does not like hospitals. that disappointed me and i left him at that. then he calls me telling me he wants to take me out to the movies, as if that is going to make up for the insensitive gesture. i dunno what to do b/c i love him and he calims to love me, but then he does things like this that make me feel that he does not. any advice?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I found out why he did not come to the hospital. Turns out thst his mom and him were planning a mini bday dinner for me and used the hospital visit as the perfect opportunity to cook and get the house ready with the cake and decorations. I felt like a complete mofo when I came back. He went to the hospital with me the next day to see my dad even though he really dislikes going to hospitals, so the visit was short, but at least he went.
So we are a happy couple now. He assured me that he is going to try to be more appreciative towards me because the last thing he wants is to lose me. We are working on our communication, it will take time, but at least we are trying. The good thing is that we never have huge fights, we actually sit and discuss things. Thank you so much guys for the advice. I really appreciate it!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 August 2008):
 From your post, it seems that it was you who broke up with him, and he who insisted you two got back together. If I were in his position, perhaps I would be wondering whether going back is really worth the effort. You don't mention whether you are showing your love to him, or giving him a reason to stay.
I suppose he didn't want to go to the hospital because that felt like "time off". You see, he came down to see you and wants to spend time with you, alone. I understand you need to see your father, but, I'm speculating about his reasons.
It seems like you don't really want to be his girlfriend anymore. Or, like you two are having second thoughts about it. It seems that the reason why you broke up hasn't been dealt with.
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