A
female
age
41-50,
*rettyunsure
writes:Sorry in advance if this is goes on abit! haha Well i'm in an online dating site and this one guy contacted me about 7 month ago just sent a hello then asked if i'm ever out (in the area we live) and i said i didn't go clubbing or anything he sent he doesn't either and i never answered back and he never messaged anymore.. then 2 weeks ago he contacted me again asked a couple of things asked why i was on the site that i'm stunning? i said its 'cos i'm shy which is true, i asked what he was on for he said for something to do!this time he asked where i live and who do i live with?, well i live with my mum at the moment and he said he lives at home too then he said shame! and that we should meet up one night (does that mean he only wants a bootycall?? so to speak haha) anyway i asked him what he wants from us meeting he said nothing really then asked me i said i just want to chat, i asked him what does he want from being on the site he said not sure asked what i want, i said friends/hangout see where it goes, then he said thats fine 'cos i haven't got time for anything serious at the moment anyway... what i'm asking here is does he seem interested or not? and if not why has he contacted me twice? and does it seem like its all for a quick bunk up?Thanks.
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booty call, clubbing, lives at home, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, prettyunsure +, writes (6 June 2010):
prettyunsure is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for all your answers so far, pretty much what i already suspected, i think he may have a girlfriend...The thing is i don't really know what i want from dating to be totally honest, i'm not actually ready to settle but i also don't want to be used! also i'm not sure if he is even attracted to me or just thinks i'll be easy 'cos i'm 30(he's 28)which i'm not easy, anyway i don't know if i should even bother meeting him.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (4 June 2010):
 He could possibly be married and just looking for a 'bit on the side'. I agree with the other aunts, you need to be sure you really want to meet him. Don't let him lead you into a sexual liason unless you know all about him and think he is suitable for you.
I must admit, the things he has told you would have alarm bells ringing for me. People on dating sites usually know exactly what they want. He is witholding even basic information, so perhaps he has something to hide.
Proceed with caution, meet for a coffee, if he is still acting cagey then forget him.
(Just wanted to say, don't disclose your address to him, and when you do meet, tell someone where you will be, give them his mobile number and try to meet in a public place)
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A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (4 June 2010):
 Sounds like he's fishing. People just on those sites to hook up, get laid. Bump up their numbers.
9 times out of 10, people on dating sites looking for a possible serious relationship want to talk for a long time before ever meeting. It's why their on there, to get to know somebody. Anybody who wants to meet that fast is usually just looking for sex.
Be very cautious. If he's serious, than he won't mind chatting and getting to know you. He should be willing to give up his own information and not just say "Me too!" or anything else that makes it seem like you two have a lot in common. If he seems like he's getting impatient that you won't agree to meeting him, than that is bad.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (4 June 2010):
 It's an initial contact.. He's not looking for a romantic relationship, he's made that clear. He might just want to go out for coffee, if it turns to sex then that would be great for him. If your not interested in sex, then he might do coffee one more time, but it's more likely he won't be that interested.
If he's not interested in a relationship, I don't think you and him will find a friendship lasts very long. You have nothing in common. Your both on a online dating site, looking for "what???" with people you don't even know.
You won't know what he wants until you meet. He probably doesn't even know, he's probably just passing time. But of course he's a man, so sex is always on his mind.
An online dating site is for people who either want a serious relationship or want to do sex...it's not a good place to find friends.
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A
female
reader, purple_butterfly  +, writes (4 June 2010):
You never know what he is doing on an online dating site. He could be there just to mkae friends, date people or even for one ngiht stands. You won't know until you meet him once. Meet him for dinner or something in a public area for the first time and see how it goes. If you like him, see if he wants to meet up again. If he is interested and likes you, he won't rush things and make you feel comfortable. I
am sure you will find his intentions out soon times.
I hope this helps
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