A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please aunts and uncles can you help me?? .. Here goes.. I have a profile on a popular dating site. One day goin back 2+ years I received a msg from 'M' saying he saw me driving along, and so we struck up a conversation. It was on and off chatting via this dating site. Anyway we met up last March and have been seeing each other on and off ever since. We share texts constantly all day long. Now and again he suddenly stops talking to me for no obvious reason, its always him that gets back in contact with me first. He changed his phone in September as his ex kept msg'in him, she has popped up a few times. She has inboxed me on facebook saying I should know that he's slept around all the while with her and he's even spent time with her.Anyway over xmas I have been told by a family friend that 'M' is still seeing her and sleeping with her.. I asked him about this and he denies it, he says to me I can go thru his phone anytime I want an his phone is always out in view.. The same family friend has sent me pics of some of her tweets, one saying she has the bed to herself after 4 days of spooning.. And over the last few days he hasn't txt as much.. My head says one thing an my heart says another... Would welcome your thoughts an suggestions guys as all this is getting me down :( .. Many thanks xx
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female
reader, Dayzy  +, writes (17 January 2013):
He is cheating. If it wasn't cheating he wouldn't need to lie to you. He'd be able to say "Yes, sure. I am seeing other women. We're not in a committed realtionship". Believe the people who have told you what is going and listen to your head. Don't settle for a dishonest cheater when you could meet someone nice instead.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2013): He was on a dating site so that is enough to tell you he`s either a wannabe cheat or desperate. Get someone who doesnt need to use dating sites.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess  +, writes (17 January 2013):
 You say you see each other on and off, but you haven't said anything about actual;y being in a committed relationship with him. There's a difference in casual dating, and actually being together as a couple.
If the two of you have not made that commitment to only see each other, then he hasn't cheated. I don't agree with the concept of sleeping with everyone you're only casually dating, or have no commitment to, but it is what it is.
What you do need to do is have a talk with him and determine whether or not there is a relationship between the two of you, and where it is headed. You need to be on the same page with your expectations. If he's only wanting casual, and you're wanting commitment, then time to move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2013): homeboy is cheating on you. it's obvious. no one just disappears out of the blue unless there's a reason for it. when he's not calling or texting, he's with this other girl (or some girl). it's as simple as that. we often try to find excuses or reasons, and bend over backwards trying to give people the benefit of the doubt and every excuse under the sun as to why they may be acting and doing the things they do. but 99.9% of the time, it's the obvious, blatant reason. don't over-think it. he's not texting and goes MIA because he's with someone else. period. drop this guy.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (16 January 2013):
 Hi
I don't think your family member would tell you these things to be hurtful, unless they are a total lowlife, do you?
However did the 'spooning' refer to him and had he responded? Your relative must know it did before she told you.
The fact you only see him on and off doesn't sound too good, or that he vanishes then appears and you just pick up where you left off.
I don't doubt his Ex is trouble and sounds to me like you should just stop the contact with him. Just let it go. He has baggage, you definately can't trust him and he is flakey as.
Better to walk away from this before you are hurt anymore.x
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