A
female
age
36-40,
*nhappy2009
writes:Is he cheating on me? Lately my fiance has been selfish. I was sick for example; this entire week and couldn't even get off the couch. I asked if he could please take our daughter with him to the gym. He said "it was too much of a hassle" when I was super sick.He's been hanging out with my sister non-stop. My sister just had sex with my other sister's ex who had just gotten out of the relationship with the guy.Why would I put it past my sister to make out with my fiance? Our daughter is 8 months old. I find it really frustrating that he would rather make me feed her every damn bottle, change every diaper, and take care of her non stop.He has been hanging out with my sister a lot lately. And it's really bugging me. Tonight I had some really bad panic attacks so I had to take a xanax. I was so dizzy from the meds that I would rather have stayed home and watch movies.he said he wanted to go out with my sister. He left hours ago stating he was "bored" and that my sister was ALL ALONE at the bar. BOO HOO. Come to find out she WASNT alone and was with tons of people.Why is he lieing?Then the other day he was saying how I hate him and that I must have a boyfriend online already. What's up with the accusations?Are these two going to end up hooking up? I am seriously mad.Oh and they are going snowboarding tomorrow. It's 2 AM and he's still not home.I don't like it at all.I have been unhappy with him and want to leave him. I want to him to move out of the house. I'm the breadwinner and I pay for this damn house and even give him a PAYCHECK for being a stay at home dad.But he spends his entire check after a week on pot then whines for more money. You would think over $1000 a month would be enough for pot.What a load of crap.I feel like he's using me, lieing, and is either cheating or going to cheat.Help.
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male
reader, fuglyone +, writes (21 April 2009):
 It's all circumstantial. You expect him to bring an 8 month old to the gym, when he's going to boff your sister? That's a little sick isn't it?
A
female
reader, HPC11 +, writes (8 April 2009):
 I just want to say this... firstly you need to investigate this because YES it is VERY fishy! Then from there figure out your plan of action...
And if your guy is the stay at home dad AND he isn't doing anything but smoke pot... why are you letting him take care of your baby?
I hope you figure out whats best for you... Good Luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): talk to him about what his doing and how its making you feel. if you dont get a good response to him pack his backs and chuck him out tell him you need some time to yourself.
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (20 March 2009):
 I know a lot of gyms do have daycare centers.. I really don't think a gym daycare center is a good place for a 8 month old. You are relying on a group of strangers to take care of your 8 month old daughter at a gym. If it was an actual daycare center, I could understand and only after you have researched it, But I don't have faith in giving over a 8 month old to a place of business whose primary goal is not taking care of kids. That being sad.. He should have skipped going to the gym that day.
But I would say you are right in suspecting that he is doing something with his sister.. and $1000 as you state it is a lot of money per month for pot.. even if he was smoking chronic. That $1000 is going towards other things.. If it was me, I'd be buying electronics.. but $1000 is a lot per month for pot.
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A
female
reader, unhappy2009 +, writes (20 March 2009):
unhappy2009 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmale reader- The gym has a daycare, as most gyms do.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (19 March 2009):
 If you are giving him all this money a month and he's supposed to be a stay at home dad, why isn't he staying home then to watch the little one while you are sick? I would suggest bringing up this subject to him and let him know the consequences he's about to face if he keeps up this behavior. There is no reason that he needs to hang out with your sister that often, even if she IS alone. It's not his problem, nor yours, only hers. I, personally, wouldn't put up with him. He is being disrespectful to you and you're the one that gives him money! This guy is taking you for granted and you don't deserve that whatsoever. If your sister has slept with your sister's ex, there might be a chance that she might try something with your man too. You should be careful and make a wise decision with this.
Good LucK!
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (19 March 2009):
 Sounds like all the cards are on the table for you to read. You just need new contacts or glasses so you can read them.
Normally I would write a long response, but to you I will make an exception.
Here's what you can do: spend the $1,000 that you normally give to your irresponsible fiance on:
1 - Change the locks in your house, change the security code too. If you have close neighbors, tell them you are not expecting him (or your sister for that matter) to come into your house anymore.
2 - Hire a nanny or an au-pair (or both). You'd be doing a service to the job market with that money.
Regardless of who he is cheating, he is already showing his colors. Chances are that his colors will only get more pronounced over the years. That will not be good for you nor your child. You and your child need love, support, and respect. Not dishonesty, abandonment, and disrespect.
Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon.
Cat
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (19 March 2009):
You wanted him to take your 8 month old baby to the gym with him?? I would say that he is right to say no to that. Personally, that would be too much of a hassle and risk. Maybe if she was 3 or 4 and the gym had a nursery, but I wouldn't bring a 8 month old to a gym with or without a nursery.
As far as your husband and sister goes, I think you are right and correct to assume they are up to no good.. and $1000 of pot a month? I bet he's doing more than pot.
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