A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Husband told me he was afraid to tell me he was friends with a girl at work because he thought she was pretty, he's never done anything like this before. He has went to her apartment to help her move, they've been caught hugging at work and even came up with a secret handshake just the 2 of them know. He also didn't want to spend the day shopping for the wedding recently until he found out she was going with me and then he wanted to go. She sent him a text after we got home that he immediatley deleted. He has her number stored in his phone, but swore he didn't know it when he needed to call he in to work one day.I work with the girl and she really wanted to help with the wedding cause she's getting a divorce, I thought she was trying to live vicariously through me, so I took advantage of the much needed assistance, but now I think she was just trying to get closer to my husband. (We just got married and I didn't know about any of this until a couple weeks after the wedding)When I ask him about it all he says is either he doesn't know or he doesn't remember.
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at work, divorce, girl at work, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (1 April 2008):
 Hi,
sorry mate, but it sounds like she has got her claws into him. But it is not just her is it? She shouldn't take all the blame, he is encouraging this as well.
I guess it all depends how much you value your marriage. This woman is a poisonous influence in your life, you have to either leave work so you have no contact with her anymore.
But first tell your husband you think your marriage is under threat and if he thinks its worth saving. Perhaps even move out for a week or two. This might make him realise what he is giving up, at the moment it's all just flirty little games with a sexy lady. Tell him to prove to you that he will have no more contact with her. You have every right to demand this as he is not being truthful with you.
good luck
A
female
reader, Dawnie  +, writes (1 April 2008):
 She sounds like a nasty piece of work getting friendly with you just to get to your husband. Get her out of your lives, make it clear to your husband how you feel and make sure he deletes her number and has no more contact with her. People like her are pathetic, they see someone in a happy marriage and do their utmost to destroy it, your husband needs to back you up though. His behaviour sounds odd to say the least and you need to know if he has something to hide. Keep an eye on things hopefully he will go along with your wishes and this will then be an end to it. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (1 April 2008):
 I agree with Jeep Lover, and that this does sound suspicious. If he's lying to you about things then it's definitely worth asking about. Especially if they've been seen hugging and such and he's going around her house. Don't do the snooping thing. He'll just get mad. Of course, you can't immediately assume he's cheating without evidence. But it's definitely worth asking about. To me, it's way too suspicious.
Wish you the best.
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): Sounds suspicious - okay first of all he tells you he doesnt have her number when he does, they have a secret handshake, shes sending him sms's which he is deleting and she is getting divorced - suggest you have a serious word with your husband - there is something wrong. he might just be flattered that she is showing attention - my guess is that she has plans for your husband..... Keep your eyes and ears open - do not tolerate his behaviour and stay away from her as much as possible. She sounds like trouble.
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