A
female
age
36-40,
*ulie2010
writes:(OP's suggested title)Hi Everyone,I could really use some help, thanks in advance. One of my boyfriends best friends is a girl who he used to be mad about and once slept with. He told me when we got together (2yrs ago) that it was kind of important that I dont have a problem with it, as his ex did. I said 'fine' and have tried to be friends with her. However, Im starting to doubt if I can trust him or her and need some advice. The reasons below is where the doubt stems from.We took a romantic trip for my bday- and yet when facebooking her he talked about it like I wasnt there! We were meant to travel to see her when she was away studying - then suddenly he decided to go with one of the lads instead and went. (a year ago)Now shes home a few months, and they've been spending a fair amount of time together, (mostly when ive other plans). They take walks in the park, go to pubs, have nights in with a takeaway and drinks in his and my apartment, go to the odd party, and occassionally have lunches in restuarants. She seems to adore him (and still be interested in him), and they get along great. You can see he thinks highly of her too. Then theres me who lives with him, has been stressed to bits lately due to work, who rows with him over normal household related stuff.I hate that I come across as a nag half the time (cant be helped), especially as it makes her look all the better. (I see her sometimes and chat to her).The final straw for me was seeing photos on his phone (not hidden) of them looking so happy in a pub and two of her in a new top which I found the receipt for in his pocket. He said he'd no clue how it got there?! I said okay. (He doesnt have photos of us on his mobile - hes one of me asleep, thats it).(He did try set her up with his friend, it didnt work out apparently.) When the three of us are in the one room, hes overly affectionate to me, hes says its to reassure me.So, am I just paranoid/should I be worried? How do I solve this? (Im 23 so you know, they are 25). Thanks.
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female
reader, Julie2010 +, writes (29 August 2010):
Julie2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Rescuer,
Thanks for your response. I appreciate it, and it makes sense.
But.. I really dont know her well enough to talk to her about this, and I dont want to place the power in her hand so to speak by telling her how I feel. Id rather find a way to deal with it between me and him somehow.
Thanks for saying its a super tough one though, that actually really cheered me up in that its nice someone sees how complex it is!
One question to clarify: Should I just be worried about her then? And not be worried about him and what he might be thinking or doing? (If u get me)
I think perhaps I should somehow quiz him more over the receipt?
What do you think?
Thanks so so much again. Really. Thanks.
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