A
female
age
30-35,
*indymandy89
writes:(OP's suggested title) well i am 21 and never had a real relationship i have had boyfriends but they all were abusers and only wanted me for one reason. guys don't look at me though i always have to go up to them. i know im not an ugly person but guys don't talk to me never make the first move and i always have to make the moves n plans and if they once in a blue moon say they like me they just say im cute then when i think things are gonna go great they disappear and never talk to me. im starting to think there is something wrong with me i am the only one out of all my friends n family who has nobody they are all getting married having kids. I've never been on a date even im really starting to go crazy is there something wrong with me im tired of being the last call. then nobody to guys i want to be someones somebody special is that to much to ask. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): I think LazyGuy hit the nail on the head- you need to feel comfortable with yourself. If you feel better about yourself, inside and out, this will show and attract people to you. There is also nothing wrong with approaching a guy- they are just as nervous to approach girls, so it takes the pressure off them if you make the first move and 'break the ice' so to speak.
While it may seem that your family and friends are all getting married, it is perfectly fine to be single. If you just 'settle' and decide to get married JUST to fit in, you will not be happy. Having a boyfriend or husband shouldn't define who you are- they are apart of your life, but also shouldn't BE your life.
Try to focus on yourself- figure out what your passions in life are and just get out there and MEET people first. Get to know others, make new friends, and once your mind if OFF meeting "the one", you may surprise yourself and find him- when you're not even looking! All the best!
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 Were you ever single? Or to be more accurate. Did you ever APPEAR single?
You say you are 21 and have had multiple boyfriends, so, how much of your adult life were you already taken? "Nice" guys don't go for other guys girls. YOU might not be happy with the bf in question but you are still with him. Occupied. Off limits.
You say you never been on a date, yet have had boyfriends. How does that even work? If you are tired of being the last call, then don't allow it to happen. Could it be that you are so desperate for a relationship you settle for the first guy to come along who wants you as a backup booty call and then take yourself of the market as it were?
First tip for any sales person, never take the first offer. If you are selling your car and a guy comes along who will give you a buck for it, if you can hold it over for a year while he looks for a better car, do you take it? Or tell HIM to wait while YOU look for a better buyer?
Same with guys. Be picky. Test him out. DATE a while before committing to ANYTHING. The sequence is TALK - DATE - Boyfriend. You seem to be skipping some steps.
As a final hint, a wedding dress is a lousy outfit to pick up guys with. You claim everyone your age is getting married and having kids... really? 21? Not a SINGLE person you know is going to university? Women are getting kids later and later in life, but apparently that is skipping your corner of the world. Maybe you are focusing just on the ones who are? Nothing is more off putting then a girl who is desperate, except to guys who only desperate women would date. If you are desperate, then you will have to make due with whatever you can scrape from the bottom of the barrel.
So stop being desperate. You had boyfriends, they didn't make you happy so why are you in a rush to get a new one? Maybe first try to be happy on your own. then when you are content being single, you can take your own time finding someone, picking the best from the litter instead of the runt nobody else wanted.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 Maybe you are meeting the wrong kinds of guys. Don't go for the ones who think they are cool and like to be the centre of attention go for the quiet bookworms who have interesting hobbies.
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