A
female
age
30-35,
*encybaby18
writes:help! me and my boyfriend have been together for 10 months now and everytime we have sex, he takes forever to ejaculate. Is it me ? Am i doing something wrong! He always says he loves it when were done but still it takes awhile... Help?!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): I'm just being honest he may love you but he may not be sexually attracted to you.
A
female
reader, lencybaby18 +, writes (29 August 2010):
lencybaby18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe anoymous male gave the best advice , thanks so much ! & i love that it isnt fast sex , i was just curiouss. Also he most definetly doesnt watch porn. Thanks for helping out everyone. (:
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A
female
reader, lencybaby18 +, writes (29 August 2010):
lencybaby18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell i took the advice of talking to him about it , he says he takes long because he holds it as long as possible cause he enjoys it & he wants me to orgasm first. & he only masterbates if we have phone sex !
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): "Or he could just be masturbating a lot, and also possibly too used to using porn" ... I don't think so... If he was masturbating too much he'd likely be coming too soon - reliance on porn usually will manifest itself as not being able to become erect or maintain an erection.
Odds are good that he's wanting to make sure you have an orgasm. Try becoming more vocal while you're having sex and tell him what you want. Encourage him to come when you want him to! Talking dirty to him may accelerate his orgasm and work well for both of you!
Think about this - the GREATEST gift a woman your age can give a guy is to TEACH them what gets her off! Guys need to be educated by a woman who knows her own body and can share the magic that turns her crank! Teach your man how to please you and you'll be doing both him and you a HUGE favor!
Whatever it is, it's NOT you! Enjoy the process!
PS: You're in a much better place than if he was coming in 30 seconds!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): If you are both honest with eachother ask him straight out, "did you take something that is interfering with your climax, dear?"
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 As the others have said he could be waiting for you.
He could also have some kind of anxiety about orgasm. This may be messing with his head. In this case, helping him feel relaxed can help.
Or he could just be masturbating a lot, and also possibly too used to using porn.
Talk about it with him.
You can also ask him what might trigger his orgasms more easily. For some men, telling them (or giving them permission) to orgasm works. Eg, saying 'come in me now' when he's close. Or it could be something physical that triggers him. Sticking a finger up his ass, for example, which for the men that can handle it will often trigger a quick orgasm.
Another option is to have him masturbate himself whilst you kiss / lick him. Some men can bring themselves to a climax easily this way.
Whatever happens. Understand that this is his issue and absolutely not your fault, although you can help him with it if you're able to establish healthy open communication about it.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (29 August 2010):
 Is he waiting for you?
A lot of guys train themselves to last as long as possible, sometimes to the point were women start getting bored. Pure stamina isn't what every woman wants but most guys don't know this.
Talk to each other about sex. What do you both want from each other?
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A
male
reader, Jeseh.  +, writes (29 August 2010):
 Maybe he is waiting for you to orgasm first thats why it takes long but you should try to tighten your vagina just to be sure.
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