A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been really struggling with depression as a result of being poorly. I am taking anti-depressants but the thing that I want most is encouragement and support which I am not getting from anyone. I have been having good and bad days. The last day I saw my boyfriend was a good day so he thought I was ok to go back to work, but the following day when I was due to go to work I felt I couldn’t cope and the doctor signed me off. I want to get back to work soon, but don’t know how to take those steps to go back. It is almost like I am filled with terror but I don’t understand why. Is this just the depression? The workload was extremely tough and I was struggling but the people are nice and generally I was enjoying myself there. I can go out socially, but the thought of getting on the bus for work and going into work fills me with dread. It is like I have developed some sort of weird phobia.Anyway, my Dad is trying his best to help but doesn’t really understand what I am going through. He seems to think that me being signed off is some sort of holiday. The thing that has gutted me most of all is the non-reaction of my boyfriend. I get the impression he thinks I am trying it on, because he hasn’t even acknowledged that I am ill. In his defence, he is very preoccupied with something he lost of sentimental value around the same time, but I feel disappointed that he hasn’t tried to help, support or encourage me at all. Is this a sign of things to come if I stay with him, or is it just that he is preoccupied with this item that he has lost? Or could it be that he is burying his head in the sand because he doesn’t know how to cope with it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (5 January 2008):
 I really am sorry if I have upset you. I didnt mean to insinuate that you wasn't ill. I was just trying to point out that the best way to get over it is to get back to normal.
The doctors in this country give out anti-depresants like they are sweets. You only have to say your a bit low and suddenly your on prozac. I know this for a fact.
I really hope that you feel better soon. But you ask should you stay with your boyfriend because he doesn't show support, but how long does he have to do this for?.
All I was trying to put to you, was how hard it is for others to understand how you are feeling.
But I also stand by what I said you need to make the effort to get well. Only you can help yourself in the end.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): I am the original poster of the question. Thank you so much for your response, Laura1318. I can totally relate to your daughter. I, too, have been doing the work of 2 - 3 people within my job. I think I did very well to manage working at that level for so long. I had hardly any days off sick at all. However, the company I worked for didn't acknowledge it until it was too late. I was already battling a minor illness whilst at work and then I became more unwell. This then turned into depression.
I have just been disappointed by the lack of support from my boyfriend and others. I am not asking for much, just some kind words and motivation to help me get back on my feet, just as I would for him, my family and friends if any of them were depressed.
I totally agree with your last paragraph, Laura1318, and I thank you for your prayers.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (5 January 2008):
 I am very sorry about your depressing problems and the lack of moral support. In times like this , your b/f should be always near to give you encouragements and help.The one you expected the most failed to live up to your expectations and this is what makes you more depressed.
My daughter was recently depressed and had to see a doctor because of her heavy workload.She could not take it anymore and cried . She took two days of medical leave. I told her , if she does not like the job, just look for another easier job or just relax at home until she would feel better.
She was doing 2 or 3 persons job in the company. She send in her resignation letter and her depressions lifted. The company asked for her reasons and she was promised another assistant and she did not resigned .
I would say support is very vital when someone is depressed. They are like lost souls and crying for help. I will pray for you and hope that you will get well soon.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): I am the original poster of the question. Whilst I agree with the previous poster that most people who think that they are depressed aren't really, I don't like the previous poster's insinuation that I haven't got depression. I have had it on and off for many years, having had clinical depression as well. When I say I am ok socially, the only times I have gone out are to support my boyfriend but I am very withdrawn at the moment and don't think I am much company. I don't go out socially at all at the moment of my own accord but only to support my boyfriend.
It is precisely because people flippantly say that they have got depression when all that is wrong with them is that they are a little bit low that people like myself who have genuinely got it aren't treated seriously.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (5 January 2008):
Hi,
Depression is extremely hard to cope with. For the person thats ill and also the person who is trying to be suportive.
You say that you are ok to go out socialy but dread going to work, well can you blame everyone for thinking you are putting it on.
My mother suffered with two nervous breakdowns when she was younger. None of my family could cope with her in the end. So I had to give up my job to take care of her. I can tell you the last thing she would have wanted to do was go out socialising.
I know that we all deal with things differently, and I may get a few bad replies to this. But sometimes its easy to wollow in self pity, and get into the habbit of thinking we are ill. When all you need to do is get back to normality and work.
There are so many people worse off than you, just read some of the letters on here.
If I sound a bit harsh, its only because I dont believe that most people who think thay are depressed, really are.
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