A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I've been in love for a long long time now. And he knows, he doesn't feel the same, which is cool, I'm happy if he's happy. A couple years back, I kissed him. He kissed me back but I was naive enough to think that he liked me back. I am getting hints that me liking him is begining to burden him a bit, or he feels bad, or does he have some kind of feelings for me? Whenever my friends are talking to me about him he always seems to try to listen to the conversations. He looks sad whenever I mention the fact that if he's happy then I'm happy. He openly achnoledges that I like him and acts cool about it but I know him so well one faulter and I can tell that he is ashamed about something. Maybe he feels responsible for me liking him?One previous art lesson, he got sat on his own for mucking around, and nastily our teacher showed his rather crappy drawing to the entire class. The entire class but me laughed at it and I think he noticed. I'm (not to push my own buttons) great at art and it is my favourite subject. He explained to the teacher that he wasn't very good and didn't enjoy it. The teacher convinced him that it was his fault that he wasn't very good which resulted in me and the teacher in a full blown argument because I defended him saying that he wouldn't practise something that he didn't enjoy. The teacher had done other things that lesson to set me off because I am not the kind of person to answer back but he criticised some of my friends and humiliated some other students so I had to say something. He noticed that I had defended him. Does he think that he was the reason I got out of character and into an argument?? The following art lesson, the teacher was much nicer to us all. My love had been very short with him that lesson due to the lesson the previous week, we think. My friends and I had been helping one of our group with some relationship problems she had been having and he was listening to us, I could tell. And him and his mate kept talking about me because they kept looking at me. Our teacher and my friends got into a convosation about crushes and he found out that I fancied him. Our teacher, as a compliment to me said that I could do better, and my love looked absolutely crushed at that. I turned to the teacher and said, 'really? I don't see it that way. He's perfect in my eyes.' Which seemed to lighten him a bit but he still looked heartbroken. The look on his face felt like someone had punched me in the chest. It's like anything he is feeling is projected to me. Is this right?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 December 2012):
 I actually see that you are not expecting a relationship, you are just happy with having a crush. He is the source of your imagination. Your teacher is too nosy and unprofessional. When I get crushed on, it brings me mixed feelings. I am flattered on one hand and on the other hand it feels awkward and embarrassing to have such fixation. If you feel self conscious when you are being filmed for a long time you will know that feeling. You should keep your feelings to yourself because he doesn't want to be a joke in the classroom, like he has been already because of his poor art work. He is enjoying the attention you give him but at the same time he does not want to lead you on. He will be more comfortable if you can convince him that just being a friend is enough. You had already told him this so if he feels uncomfortable with this friendship it is his responsibility to distance himself from you, if that means losing your attention and admiration. Also realize that if you get so ungrounded that his feelings become your feelings that was your choice all along.
A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (15 December 2012):
A guy can like you as a friend. If he is aware of how you feel there could be a number of reasons he hasn't made a move. None of them really matter, because whatever his reasons are, it seems obvious he's not interested.
When I was in high school I had no desire for a relationship, so it could be that simple. Sometimes girls are more interested in things like that at your age, guys just want to have fun.
He may or may not like you, that's impossible for anyone to know. The bottom line is that you should probably move on.
If you don't accept that answer be blunt with him; asking the internet to tell you how he feels about you won't work as well as being honest with him. Just tell him, "Look, I want to talk to you for a minute. I like you a lot, and I know you know that. What I don't know is how you feel about me. Our friendship is important so just be honest with me, I can take it. If you don't feel the same way I understand and it wont stop me from wanting to be your friend."
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