A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I have a wee problem and i know it might sound like nothing but i am getting very frsuted over it and i feel really hurt reguarding the situation :(I have been best friends with this guy lets call him "pete" for over 5 years now. I have always been at his birthdays - never missed them for the world and he has nver missed one of my birthday we can always cound on each other being there. this year, my newish boyfriend and I were invitted to a wedding reception (the day before my friends birthday) I knew this was my friends birthday that weekend so i kept it in mind and said i would go with my boyfriend. I then, seen via facebook that friend had posted on his wall asking people if they would be up for going out on his birthday and he would be doing this the day before (the wedding receptions day) cause more people are likely to go out. I honeslty, thought that he would of went on his brithday - because it is summer and reguardless of people working etc, no one is at uni or college and no one has assignments to do so i thought sunday wouldnt of been a problem. I gave him a wee text with a sad face - he then texted me back the next day asking what was up, i then texted saying i could go to his birthday night out as i have a wedding receptiong to go to but im up for going out on his actual birthday if he wants to go out with me then and i then appoligsed and said i beared it in mind that it was his bday that weekend but i assumed he would go out his actual bday - I got no text back - I then sent him a text hours later asking "is this okay? u up for that then? - still no text back. the next day I was annoyed that he was blanking me, so i seen that he updated his facebook with his mobile so i phoned him - 2 times and it went to voicemail - at this time i was talkin to one of my other best mates who is also good friends with him i asked her to text him to see if he would text her back - and he did, within 5 minutes :( i then phoned him again - NOTHING. and then i texted him asking if we were okay - still nothing. my friend texted him also saying stop ignoring Amy. but he then didnt text her back :S i have seen him on facebook so i sent him a message asking if he would at least tell me if he is annoyed with his birthday - NOTHING. so this morning i sent him another angry one saying that for a good friend, im finding it very immature and i then thanked him for making me feel like crap. he has ignored this also but updated his status a number of times :( Im finding this soo cheeky as on his blog from weeks ago he writes about how he thinks its rude when people blank him - but he is doing it to me?and also, he used to be best friends with this other girl, they eventually fell out but she messaged him with cheeky stuff and he messaged her back and they were basically arguin over facebook - he argued back with someone he doesnt even like rather than tell me what ive done wrong :( my boyfriend says he is being a dick and immautre - but i cant help but to feel hurt, 5 years of friendship for this? to be ignored for ntohing :( please tell me that i shouldnt feel bad about going to this wedding reception?and if i am in the wrong also tell me too. cause i am very confused:(thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 Your not wrong. Obviously, what we have here is an unfortunate clash that nobody could have really foreseen, you honestly cannot be expected to keep every conceivable slot open for his birthday as you cant tell his plans. I can understand his plans, Sunday may not be a problem but it's also not much of a night out - at least where I live, but that's scarcely something you should have to account for. I wouldn't go quite as far as your boyfriend and think you need to dial it down a notch to actually solve this because if you now start being aggressive he will retaliate and it will just start a circle of negativity.
You cant make him speak to you - you have obviously expressed your sorrow but I would suggest, if you haven't already said it, sorry might be better than a sad face which indicates disappointment not regret. Other than that I dont think there is much you can do; id leave it a few days, maybe get the wedding reception and his birthday out of the way and attempt contact with a cooler head; be regretful but firm, your sorry you couldn't make it but have done nothing wrong. Also, I presume you will need to give him
This is probably cynical and a tad manipulative but you getting wound up is what he wants soooo dont contact him, dont add fuel to the fire and remind him what he is missing and i'd lay a small wager he may well get in touch with you.
Good luck :)x.
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