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female
,
*eptSheri
writes: I took your advice, and I am there for my boyfriend who has moved to TN. He came up for the weekend, we had a wonderful time. He invited me to come down and stay for 4 days which I booked yesterday.Last night he was very depressed. I tried to talk to him but the static on the line was so bad, I got bits and pieces of the conversation. He was acting like he did not want to continue the conversation, so I told him that he had, had a long drive and was tired and it had been an emotional trip, since he had to go back to his old house to close things up. I told him that he should get some sleep and we would talk today.This morning he said he did not want me to come to see him, that I rushed him off the phone, that the one time he wanted to talk about his grief that I rushed him off the phone. I do not understand, I am very confused. I did not do that. I do not know how to convince him that this is not the case.I am sure that this trip was emotional for him because this is the home that he shared with his deceased wife for 11 years. I know he has feelings for me, I just think that he is feeling more guilty for having them and is lashing out at me. I don't know what to do.I am on an emotional roller coaster with this man. I love him more than anything, and I am willing to share his heart with the feelings he has for his deceased wife. I don't know if I should just let go. I am so hurt by what he said, yet I know where it is coming from. I can't keep getting hurt everytime his grief is too much for him to handle. What can I do to help him?
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reader, becky05 +, writes (20 July 2005):
It sounds like you have been very nice and patient wityh this man.
Do you think he ios over the death of his wife? If not, then he may not be ready for a relationship at the moment.
You need to talk to him and ask if this is the case, also, tell him how you feel.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2005): No-he's not blaming you and please understand..he is still grieving. Each person experiences grief in their own way & the length of the mourning period varies for different people. In grief, no one can take away our pain because no one can take away our love. The call of life is to learn to love…again. And he is trying to get there..he needs time, patience and incredible understanding. Let this incident with him go...forget it.
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