A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I am dating an older man who is an adjunct teaching piano at a university. I'm 23 and he's 30 and we've been going out for two years. I was over at his place recently and he had to go into school to hear some of his students play in a recital and asked if I wanted to come with. It's a half hour drive and a he said he'd love the company and I didn't have to listen to his students (who are just beginners) I could just bring a book and read outside in the garden during the concert. I told him I'd love to hear his students, but he insisted that I might rather not so I let it go and brought a book, since I thought he might be self-conscious about me hearing them.Then we got there we stopped by the office and he asked me to wait outside while he got his mail, then he'd show me where the garden was. He said it wasn't appropriate for him to have me hanging around his work.I was kind of taken aback, because it seems like he doesn't want to be seen with me, either in the office or at the recital. I could see not wanting me in his classes and lessons or actually hanging out in the offices, but this seems a little much... Am I crazy? Is he being self-conscious about the age gap or something? Or is he trying to hide something from me? Or is this behavior totally normal?Thanks
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female
reader, Lilly Rose  +, writes (19 May 2009):
 How old are his students he is teaching? if there your age then i would be worried have u seen the girls he teaches?, probably nothing, he sounds like one of them men that work is very serious and he takes it serious, also maybe if his students see him with a young women they might not take him as serious and could take the mickey! Talk to him and let him know your self conscious about it, let him explain before you go mental about him trying to hide something, never know maybe after you talk he will let you in next time!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): If this behavoir is something that is new, then maybe you can worry. But if he's been this way throughout your entire relationship, then it's probably the age difference or what he told you it is.
You are awefuly far along in your relationship to be asking about the way he feels.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): Hi he's not being self conscious it just how you think. Just ask him you'll see the only way to get closure is to ask him, he'll understand.
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