A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I'm mega uuber confused. I work with this guy in a busy shop right, and I kinda sorta fancy him lol. The thing is, when we're at work, he does talk to me, but it's just friendly talk, talk about work collegues, what we've got to do for the day, etc.Then, when we finish work, we talk on msn almost every night. He always says hi to me first about 15 mins or so after I've gone online, and he always teases me and calls me names etc, adding "lol" or "j/ks" at the end of the sentence. For example, we were watching a film once and talking about it over msn. One character had a hairy chest, and he then said to me "I noticed your chest hair at work today is just like his lol." He just says random things like that, and he frequently calls me a "blonde bimbo". We've not done much outside of work together, just clubbing with a group of friends and we once went to the cinema with another girl. I'm sorry for this post becoming long, I'm just really, really confused! He only talks to me in this way over msn, and I don't know if he's actually being nasty or if he's just joking around. He doesn't have a partner and I know lots of people fancy him, so I'm just totally confused right now :(
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 November 2009):
Sometimes bullying can start in a joking way, so don't stand for it. I would hope that he is only joking, but don't be afraid to gently but firmly confront him over it.
A
female
reader, L-O-V-E xxx +, writes (4 November 2009):
i think he's just mucking around with u as friends, i dont think its anything more...dont go pawning after him give p and moveon
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 November 2009):
 I'd call him on it, if it's bugging you. Hairy chest, my adz...
"Peter, what happens to you on MSN, you get all goofy and say the most outrageous things? You can only 'lol' and 'j/k' yourself out of a couple of these instances; too many and honestly, I don't think that you are really just joking or just kidding. It's starting to bug me."
Be honest, be clear, be firm, be polite. Don't be afraid to call people on crappy behavior. Bullies only get away with it because people are complicit in ignoring unacceptable behavior.
Good luck.
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