A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:One of the guys in my class is really nice and friendly, he keeps asking me to leave my hair out and always compliments me when I do. The other day, I had my hair out, and he complimented on it when we were walking down the hall together. His friends add onto his compliments about my hair, too.There are four other girls the smae age as me in my class, and he doesn't seem to speak to them that way (he doesn't speak to any of them). He has a circle of friends in the class and since he and I have been talking, his friends have all been really friendly and nice to me. His circle of friends seem to be really close, because all of his friends seemed to know something I had told him...Whenever I end up talking with him and is friends, he always asks me for my opinion and makes sure everyone shuts up when I speak...He tends to make alot of jokes and always makes a joke about whatever I've said. He seems to make big movements when I'm looking at him, but he could just be doing that because he's big and loud... He and his friends all yell my name when I've walked into the room or if I'm near them, but I'm so popular haha... I don't know how old he is (but I'm guessing 3/4/5 years older than me) and I don't know if he has a girlfriend...I've never had much experience with guys and I am so clueless when it comes to relationships. Í'm not sure if he's just being friendly or actually likes me? If he does like me, does he like me as a girlfriend or as a s.l.u.t? Am I 'one of the guys' or are his friends being friendly because he likes me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2013): Before I met my girlfriend I was a lot like this guy you describe. My intent was never to bed a casual acquaintance or female friend I just met. I used this tool to break the ice and try to get to know this women as a friend only. I come from a strict background and I never got the urge or temptation to just have sex with a women. I still really believe that I would like to be treated a certain way and hoped I would and could return the same. If you still feel the same you should come out and ask him what are his intentions towards you? You might be surprised by the answer or you might hear the old story, I told you so.
A
female
reader, White_Lilly  +, writes (16 March 2013):
 I have a guy friend like that, and I've known him for a long time, about 3 years and he's very, very nice and always pays for dinner, always pays for the cinema tickets, walks me home, buys me gifts, cooks for me and so on, and he's never tried anything with me.
A few months ago I asked him and it turns out he's asexual (some people don't feel any sexual desires) and he just likes me for who I am and does not want anything from me, he's a genuinely friendly guy with no ulterior motive. He's a lovely guy.
Point I am trying to make is, though rare, there are some guys out there who are just happy to be friends. If you find one like that, hold on to him because they're precious!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (16 March 2013):
 well I have two thoughts here.
thought one is WHY does it matter what HIS intent is? Will it change how you behave or what you do?
The truth is... he may just be a friendly guy. He may like you as a friend. He may have a girlfriend or even be married.
You are responding to an attractive man paying attention to you... what of him as a person do you know?
Best way to gauge his interest is get him away from his "pack" The fact that he has this group of friends always around and they know all the things you say is a tad concerning to me but it may just be youthful inexperience that's causing the pack mentality behavior.
So since you probably like him enough to want to actually get to know him, ask him to go for a cup of coffee with you and get to know him.
oh and the best way to know if a guy is after sex is to NOT give it to him (this includes hand jobs and blow jobs) and see if he sticks around. If he sticks around, he may be a good bet.... if he's only after sex once you say NO consistently (it will be more than once that he tries) he will stop trying and disappear from your life.
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