A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i've always had a problem trusting my live-in bf of about a year. he has alot of old girlfriends from college which doesn't bother me-but it does bother me that he tries to make new girlfriends.he set up a lunch with a girl claiming it was business and not pleasure-which is not true.he also told me that she is not attractive-which is also not true. should i be pissed? is this disrespectful or am i overeeacting? this is not the first time this has happened... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (31 January 2007):
 Again, it's the trust issue here. Are things so bad between you both that you think he wants to go off and cheat with someone else? What kind of business was he talking about? He's told you he doesn't find her attractive yet you say she IS. He might be telling the truth her, maybe in HIS eyes he doesn't find her attractive. You can't tell someone who they can and can't be friends with. You've been living with hiim a year now so you should know him pretty well by now.
You need to ask yourself... "has he ever went off with anyone else before?" "Does he show me he still loves me?" "Do I feel the most important person in his life?" "Do I have valid reasons not to trust him?" Some guys like making friends with other women and at the end of the day it's YOU he's coming home to, not them.
Trust plays a big part in any successful relationship, if you feel you have problems trusting him and they're unfounded then it YOU who has the problem and not him. If this is the case you need to lighten up a little and trust him more. If you don't you'll only push him away for good.
Eve
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2007): Your boyfriend may be a "dabbler"....meaning that he can't be with just one woman and be happy with that. He may have insecurity issues, that make him crave the attention of other women. These are always dangerous men to be involved with because their behavior will drive a normally, fun-loving, secure women insane. First they'll try to convince you that it's "all in your head"....or that you're being overly "jealous", or that you are simply "over-reacting" -- meanwhile, he's double-dipping, if you get my drift.
I'd say discuss your feelings with him, watch him very carefully -- are you absolutely sure it really wasn't a business lunch?.....if you've done your homework and his behavior continues it may be time to lose this man and find someone else.
Good luck.
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