A
female
age
30-35,
*ymmyb
writes:I've been talking to this guy (A) on and off for 2 years. He told me 6 months ago that, he's not attracted me and he doesn't want to get close to me. We all have the same friends so we interact every now and again.Two years ago I met him (A) and met his friend(B) who I dated for a month. I was trying to take my relationship with his friend (B)sloow until he (A) told me that when him and his friend (B) visited another place his friend (B) that I was dating became involved with a girl. I was disgusted and ended our friendship then that's when (A) got close to me after that and then intimate. (A) causes me to be reluctant to see other men most of the time. If I do he somehow knows and somehow he always sweeps me off my feet with his charm. Funny thing is almost every time he gets an opportunity he puts his hands on me and my body then kisses me which is when we're drunk most of the time. I don't get why he told me that he's not attracted to me yet he offers to hang out occasionally or frequently makes advances almost every instance we see each other. We've been intimate on and off coming up to 3 years. He's 25 and I'm 23 now , I enjoy having fun and cuddling with him every now and again. My friend told me he practically can get any girl that he wants. That being said my friend explained that this dude just sees me more or less in his eyes as girl with a hot piece of A^^ for him to fondle with. I don't know if he truly is attracted to me because he's on the fence yet his actions speak louder.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 December 2012):
 of course it's fun to cuddle and hook up with folks... it strokes not just body parts but egos too.
the issue is he has already made it clear you are just fun and games and he has no respect for you as a partner.
you are his "little bit on the side"
what do you think will happen if you tell him no more physical contact (no hugs, no kisses no sex)... he will go poof very quickly.
when I offered my husband a NSA/FWB relationship (because I wanted a little piece on the side of an open marriage) he was like "YEAH great, your not my type at all but what single guy is going to turn down free sex?"
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 December 2012):
 Yes. His actions are SO LOUD that they are TOTALLY drowning out his words....
Soooooooo, "LISTEN" to his actions, only, and decide, for yourself, whether or not you want to be this guy's "little piece on the side".... because it's clear that that's all he wants you to be....
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2012): I know this isn't what you want to hear, but your friend is right, there is no doubt in my mind.
Stop having sex with him and see how long he shows interest in you.
He already told you he wasn't attracted to you and unless you look different that hasn't changed... however I have to say that sometimes feelings can grow for someone who you didn't find attractive but it's rare, and given how he's drunk when he shows interest that should be the only sign you need that he enjoys being intimate with you but nothing else will come of it.
Him not wanting you to see other guys means nothing, don't read into it. Some guys just don't like the idea of a girl being with more than them, even if they don't want to go out with her.
Don't fret over a guy like this. Sometimes it may seem like he's perfect and you don't want another guy, just him. Realistically there are guys just like him (plenty) that will also treat you better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2012): Hi there! I hope you enjoy the holidays and stop confusing yourself about guy A. To me, based on how you describe guy A, it seems like his a player.
He knows how to play his cards so well. He made it clear that his not attracted to you but takes advantaged of you. Worst is you allow him to take advantage of you.
His attracted to you in a lustful way. Your friend is being honest, they see what you can't see. Or you already knew about it, but chose to ignore reality.
If a guy is serious about you, he will let you know about it when his not drunk. If his so into you, he will let you know. The only way for you to confirm how he really feels for you, try to date other people. Let him know Only if he ask you.
for example, he ask you out, tell him u cant cuz you have a date. don't explain your not his gf, if he ask why, thats the only time you tell him that you dont see the reason why you can't date after all your free and you dont have a bf..
This is a brave act. it may bring you closer or maybe bring you apart w/him. but you have to know how he really feels for you, otherwise, he will always take advantage of you, take you for granted and just see you as a sex object or something.
Your still young, you deserve to be happy, to be treated right and to be loved. Never settle for less.
Good luck
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