A
female
age
30-35,
*rchidkid
writes:I know it's a lot but pleas read?I know there are lots of questions like this one but I really need your answer/advice. Maybe you've been there, know what to do?The problem is with a guy. Me, him and our group of friends have knew each other for about 10 years (we're 23 now) But only recently we came to hang out again together after about 6 years of seperation. Not so long ago he told my best friend he likes her but wouldn't touch her with a stick, but me on the other hand...well, he looks at me as a female, potential love interest.About 2 months ago at a party we were drunk and he kissed me, we kissed several times that evening. After that we agreed it was only a drunk night and we don't sport any feeling for each other other than friendship. We also agreed we like to kiss in general and I stated that when I do it, most of the time I don't mix my feelings into it.After that one time our friends started jokes and a bit of teasing that we should end up togehter, that when we all kiss goodbye on the cheek I should kiss him on the lips etcHe told me once in a joke that he's afraid I'll fall for him or something, but I cleared that out.About 2-3 weeks ago me, my bestie and our group were at that guys place having a casual drink. My bestie and I stayed for the night, the others went home. She slept in another room, but me and the guy talked about stuff till almost morning, we weren't drunk. And then suddenly he kissed me again. Over and over again, nothing but deep kissing and stuff like that, no sex, no petting, just french kissing. In the morning when we were still in bed he also kissed me gently several times on the lips.It would be pretty clear for me except for some things which mess up my brain-he makes it clear he doesn't have a crush on me (or so he said), he teases me in a really mean manner in my opinion - telling me I'm fat when I'm really not, with all honesty, although he always apolagizes afterwords. He himself is very skinny and I know it's his problem, so even a smexy curvy girl is fat for him. Yet he's very touchy feely-when we crash at each others house after a movie he always clinges to me, spooning and holding his hands around me tightly or laying his head on my chest. He invites me (well others as well) to his place or comes to mine whenever he feels he can.I know he's also touchy with my bestie, the "I wouldn't touch you with a stick" girl, but I know it's not to that extent!My question-what the hell is going on?! Is he actually flirting with me and sporting some feelings? Or have he found himself a potential jump-off in me? I'm kinda' lost with this one since he said he doesn't want to mingle within our pack...
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (18 March 2013):
 If he has told you several times that he doesn't want to date "within the pack" I think he is using you as a "rodeo clown" in the sense that if he doesn't have a GF he can "use" you to fulfill some of his needs. He seem to know that sex will complicate things so he thinks kissing can keep it on the platonic level.
I think you are playing with fire. You might think you can keep emotions out of kissing, but honey.. look at the situation....
And the "teasing you in a mean manner" I think that is his way of keeping you from thinking he wants more.
The lines are now so blurred between you that it's hard to say WTF is going on honestly. But I don't think he wants you as his GF or he would have had the decency to ask you out already instead he sticks his tongue down your throat.
A
female
reader, orchidkid +, writes (18 March 2013):
orchidkid is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi So_Very_Confused and thanks for your answer:)
Yes, I actually do think that this behaviour of his is childish and plain stupid.
I did snap a few times at him for acting like that.
It's not actually that I enjoy him breaking some physical barriers, I just didn't pay much of my attention to it since I don't really see him as a potential lover or a boyfriend material, but after one to many evenings like that one, my red alert turned on and I started to think 'what if he actually sees my as something MORE as just a chick friend'.
Thank you for opening my eyes a little wider and for your thoughts on that matter:)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 March 2013):
 He sounds very immature
"telling me I'm fat when i"m really not"
"teasing in a really mean manner"
adults do not TEASE in a mean manner.
IF he prefers uber skinny girls and you are not that, then he's not the man for you.
he clings and spoons and touches you because honey "any port in a storm" will do.
What's going on is you want more or you would tell him to "cut it out"
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