A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm at the end of my ropes and I need this jealousy to be gone. I am going crazy! I have never been jealous before so it's aggravating to me when I get jealous over little things. At first I thought my boyfriend was hiding something from me. He never lets me look through his phone let a lone hold it for him. He tilts the screen away from me whenever he's texting or on it and I know he has friends that are females that he texts. Mind you these friends are past flirt buddies and fuck buddies. We took a break a few months back and I found out he went on a date with one of them, "Brittany." I don't like the idea of him texting or talking to them AT ALL. I want him to stop talking to them although I never actually told him that. He is a really good guy he treats me right and buys me stuff and loves me no matter what I put him through. He knows I don't like them or the idea of him talking to them but he wont meet me halfway. I let him know whenever I get a text from a guy friend or if he asks who I'm texting I'll tell him. I don't hide anything from him. He has always been a private guy but it's getting to me now. We will be together for almost 2 years now shouldn't we have a trusting relationship where we can both be able to look at each others phones? This "Brittany" chick texted him the other day and asked if he could stop by her work to say hi. He told me and I asked if he was and he said "maybe later" I got upset cause I wanted to do something to celebrate St. Patricks Day but we had no time at all to do so but he now has time to go see his old flirt buddy? When I said that he said he meant later as in another day. That makes NO sense to me. After our little argument he asked if I wanted to go with. Of course I said yes but I don't know how I feel about it. It will be awkward but I'd rather be there than him go alone. What should I do? Am I being reasonable? If not how do I get over this jealousy? I'm on the verge of a breakdown. Please Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2013): I don't think you are being unreasonable. You probably won't like to hear this but I think it's time to end the relationship and move on if he doesn't start to make some change. I know this is hard but if he is being this way after 2 years then he will most likely always be this way and will continue doing the things he is doing.If he doesn't want to get rid of these friends completely, I think the least he could do is cut back from talking to them so much. If he knows this bothers you so much and he isn't really doing anything about it, I don't think he respects your feelings as much as a 2 year boyfriend should. I would sit him down and have a very serious talk with him. Tell him how you honestly feel about all of this and that you're tired of always feeling jealous and sad and that if he doesn't make any changes then you think it would be best to break up for now.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 March 2013):
 Why did you 'take a break' from the relationship a few months ago? That's usually a sign of impending disaster. You referred to putting him through stuff? What's that about?
Was the break the result of your wanting him not to maintain contact with his exes (that's what flirt/f*ck buddies are, you know)?
He sounds conditioned to flirt/chat/joke with lots of girls; I expect that's now part of his pattern. Unless he really wants to change that, you can expect him to continue, despite your unspoken indignation.
I'd throw this one back into the dating pool and let someone else worry about him. And don't stay friends with this ex, he may keep on flirting with you when he's with his next victi- I mean, girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 March 2013):
 if you have never been insecure or jealous in a relationship before and you are in THIS ONE only, then I'm betting he's doing something wrong to get your radar up.
While folks are entitled to privacy even within a serious relationship, I personally think that hiding your phone is a key indication that you are keeping secrets you don't want your partner to know about.
You really can't tell him who he can and cannot be friends with, but if he chooses to be friends with girls that he has previously dated you can choose to end the relationship.
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