A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has shoved me, pulled my hair, held his hand over my mouth, and now he has choked me. I don't really think he was choking me with the intent on killing me, but more to scare me. He keeps telling me that I just need to know when to 'shut my mouth'. He tells me that I make him do the things he does, he says that he was cranky due to lack of nicotine and lack of caffeine. Last week he pulled my hair IN FRONT of friends (he had never done anything like that before). I was so bewildered. The day after these things happen it always seems as though it was a dream and my anger towards him fizzles out. Is this really him abusing me? or is he just throwing tantrums? Am I actually in danger? We have been together 9 years and about 3 years ago was the first time he shoved me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): It is abusive behaviour. If you accept this behaviour, it is likely he will get worse and worse with the abuse.....until, well you can imagine the scenario. Get out now.
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (5 November 2008):
 No one deserves to be treated the way your boyfriend is treating you. He's abusing you, and you need to leave this creep right now. There's no excuse for his behaviour. I don't care if it's lack of nicotine, or caffeine, it is NEVER ACCEPTABLE to abuse anyone, physically, or emotionally.
Anytime he intimidates you or threatens you or makes you fearful, that's abuse, dear.
One day, hopefully, someone bigger than he is will find out about this treatment, and will kick his ass.
Have you been to the authorities about his abusive behavior?
Don't wait around for that to happen, though. Leave him now. He's a creep and belongs in jail.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 November 2008):
Yes that's right it's all YOUR fault.... this guy is a complete abuser.
He's actually putting his hands round your neck and you are trying to justify it by saying "well he wasn't actually trying to KILL me, just put me in FEAR of my life."
Get out of this relationship now. This guy has NO respect for women and will only be happy when he has a terrified cowering girlfriend in the kitchen wondering when the next beating is going to come.
Do not let any man EVER treat you in this way again.
Tell him you will not take any kind of physical abuse and you should be allowed to talk as much as you want without being SCARED.
Get rid of him.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (5 November 2008):
 his behaviour is totally unacceptable and it has to stop. he has no right to do those things or to tell u to shut ur mouth. he is abusive, disrespectful and a bully. situations like these always escalate and it will only get worse. u could try speaking to him if you feel it may change but my honest advice would be to walk away with ur dignity intact and your head held high. no person should ever be bullied or demeaned by anyone else and you deserve to be treated better. i hope it works out for the best x
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