A
male
age
30-35,
*.Mustang
writes:Alright...I feel like my girlfriend of 1 year has cheated on me or might again...At first, I didn't pay any attention, but she was going out of town (2 hours away) all the time with some guy she barely knew, driving his car, etc.I asked her about it and she just said..."he's like a brother to me"I'm like... okay I don't want to overreact so I dropped it.Well after them spending ALOT of time together, I asked again...and she tells me "Oh, hes just a friend.." Turns out, he's in love with her and wants her to leave me.... she stopped talking to him after that...idk if it was because she loves me or because she didn't wanna get caught.Months later at work...I'm getting stories of her sitting in some dudes lap, (she also went to lunch with him AND drove his car again...)... again.. I confront her... she drops all contact with him. Once more, idk if it's just to cover her ass.Well, nowadays I feel like she might be "talking" to my best friend.... just seems like something is going on.Please help... I must know how to tell if there is anything I need to worry about :/
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at work, best friend, cheated on me Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): The good news is you don't stay with someone for a year just so you can cheat on them. Believe it or not most cheating in relationships go on when your married and have no easy way out or right at the beginning of one.
The bad news is you shouldn't be posting on here you should be talking to your girlfriend. Never listen to online strangers when they tell you to get out or break up. They don't know the situation and even more so in this because you have only said your bad times.
Your post is old so I hope by now things have worked out.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): can you say with complete conviction that you have no female friends or that those female friends don't or never have had a thing for you or the other way around?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): You need to trust your girl. All the evidence you have is rumors you've heard at work, and the fact that she had a guy friend who she stopped talking to after he said he loved her. If she were covering her ass she wouldn't have told you about him at all. Not talking to someone because of things they say about you or your relationship is out of love. She knew it bothered you so she stopped. That's what faithful people do.
You sound like you don't trust your "best friend" either. Maybe it's not her or the best friend. Think it over.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): dont jump to conclucions ask her and people who know her not people on a site or other people that dont know her its good to ask for opinions but dont take them serisly when they dont even know her because only you and her will evr know the hole story good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): Ive seen situations like this and been in a situation like this. The person overreacted and listened to everyone but their partner which resulted in messing things up on their own.
My girlfriend did this to me and ended up losing me. Eyes were then opened and senses were came to on the situation. We very thankfully did get back together and have been together for 4 1/2 wonderous years now. A cheat free relationship with much less paranoia now.
Sometimes we see things that arent there due to our own past relationships or personal fears. Your afraid of losing her, especially to someone else. It is fully normal. You could feel as if you are not up to par or possibly could have been badly burned in past love affairs.
Talk to the people that know her best. Not the ones that dont know her from Eve. Close family and best friends.
Youve also mentioned she hasnt told you about past relationships. They dont matter. Are you with her the same way you were with past lovers?
There are tons of things you need to contemplate other than the rumors you hear and the bad things you think.
"Idk...it just. when your connected to someone, you want to make it work."
Run with that.
Take it from a 29 year old in a very harmonious relationship.
Let your guard down and loved and be loved.
Best of luck to you and your loved one.
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A
male
reader, kissingiscautery  +, writes (6 November 2008):
Dude, again, if you think it'll hurt now... wait until things really get out of hand.
Either cut your arm off now, and get out of the trap, or remain in the trap and wait for someone else to come along and take everything from you.
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A
male
reader, R.Mustang +, writes (6 November 2008):
R.Mustang is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell according to her, there have been incidents where she has kissed guys that werent her BF at the time...
She also claims her "first time" wasn't really a first time...just lasted 2 secs ...that I was her first :/ (id like to belive it)
She doesn't tell me anything about her last relationships though :/
Idk...it just. when your connected to someone, you want to make it work.
Ending it would be so hard...
It would cut her off from mutual friends and idk...we ended it once before and it was horrible...
We couldn't be friends....we couldn't be anything less than bf.gf...
I would still get like..jealous at the thought of her being with anyone else.
Idk...advice?
Lost soul @ 19 :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Could you ask your best friend what she has been saying to him?
It does sound a bit dodgy. Like she only drops this guy when she gets caught out. Do you know what she was like in previous relationships?
I'd back off a bit if I were you.
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A
male
reader, kissingiscautery +, writes (5 November 2008):
Drama, drama, drama....
I know this sucks, and it is very VERY difficult to see clearly and think straight when you're the one involved. I've been there. But outsiders can always see it as clear as day.
If you don't fully trust her, get out. It's as simple as that. You can either cause hurt now, or wait to get hurt twice as much in the future, when there's more at state.
Also, I have found that girls who say one thing and don't maintain the integrity of their words are often liars. If a girl was really honest with you, and really cared for you, she wouldn't start a connection with the guy again when she told you she wouldn't be talking to him anymore. Especially when it was for the sake of your relationship.
That's my advice! Hope you feel better!
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