A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex-girlfriend (who split up with me by email just over a week ago after over a year together) has agreed to meet me for a chat as she is aware that I've got things to say.I've read her emails that detail why she is reluctant to give things another chance and over the last week, I've thought about my behaviour in recent months. Mainly due to my job (which I've hated for a few months due to the treatment I'm subject to), when I do see her, I've been quite miserable, unwilling to do most of the things she wants to do (Cinema, Bowling, leisure activities etc..), not a great deal of support and although not abusive, quite selfish. It's the kind of thing that would make anybody unhappy and think that they cannot go on like this.I've really thought about this day and night and I'm utterly convinced that it's me who has caused this and I don't like the person I've been recently.I would like to reassure her that if she were to reconsider, I can be the person I used to be, not for a few weeks but permanently. I'm willing to change jobs almost immediately (even temping!), do the things she wants to do (my true personality likes those things anyway) and make her happy like I used to.Yesterday she was involved in a road accident (only minor injuries thank the lord) and when I found out, my heart leapt, I just wanted to comfort her and it basically confirmed to me that my feelings for her are stronger than ever.Does anybody have any advice how I can tell her all this but reassure her it's not some 'same old' drivel to get her back but I really have scrapped my negative outlook on life, won't fall back on my recent ways, will put her first and will love her always?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses so far.
To answer the question "For instance, how does hating your job stop you from going out places? Surely it would take your mind off it too?", I've been letting the thought of going back to the job on Monday morning affect my mood at the weekend & I've not been a great person to be around.
Doing things would take my mind off it but I never got as far as that recently.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): It depends on how many times you have said you will change.
Tell her everything you have said here, and see if you can do things in small stages. For instance, how does hating your job stop you from going out places? Surely it would take your mind off it too?
If you are a bit negative generally, look at some sites and books on positive thinking. Make a list at the end of each day of each good thing that happened, however small it may seem, for example someone helped you with something, stopped to chat, cooked you a nice meal. It helps a great deal with everything in life, not just your lovelife.
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