A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is this guy that I really am attracted to at work. I work in a hospital and he is one of the nurses in the department next to me. I have only just (past 3 weeks) started working there and noticed him around about last week.Let me just say first of all, I have this trouble with shyness. If I'm talking to anyone strangers male or female I'm usually confident and like to socialise but if I'm attracted to someone, that all goes to pot and I clam up, go red and become very awkward. Not good I know - especially not at my age anyhow. Alot of guys that I've got with have said they didn't think I were interested because I'm looking down not initiating conversation etcAnyhow so back to the guy. So I first noticed him last week. sounds corny but we locked eyes in the shared kitchen (my office is next to his OT dept) he had his back to me and turned round and we locked eyes. I swooned at how nice his eyes were (it's not like me to like a stranger instantenously like that)then next time I saw him, he were sat down and I locked eyes with him again.Then today he were walking back from the hospital shop towards me in the opposite direction (I were going to the shop) with a much older female colleague. I went all nervous again and looked at her first (she had a stern face on her) then back at him and then kind of smiled at them both. She didn't smile back but he said "Hiya" and I just put my head down and half smiled (why o why do my nerves always let me down!)then I went to get a sandwhich from the shop and he APPEARED behind me. I saw his forearm stretch over me to get another sandwich. Previous to that he had been talking to the shop assistant - the shop was very busy - so he must have asked her if he could swap his sandwich. It was on the tip of my tongue to make some comment but again my nerves got the better of me and I said nothing as he reached over me to grab a sandwich. He must have picked up the wrong one before because he was well on his way back from the shop when I saw him.Then thinking I had blown my chances, I was talking to the cleaning lady (who has spoken to him before) and she said she'd find out if he's single for me. So she was in the dept next door and she said "hope you don't think I'm being too cheeky but are you married?" and he said "no I'm not" so she said to him "Ah, there's a douzen girls that are liking you round here" (I made her swear not to mention me) and he said "really? where? No-ones talking to me "later on I went to get a coffee in the shared kitchen and he was coming behind me (I saw him in the reflection of the double doors) I had two cups in my hand so I saw my chance and turned round and said to him "could you get the doors for me please?" he said "sure" (sounded happy) and held the door open for me. Then when we got out the other side I turned to look and he was stood there as I was about to go in my office (big grin on his face "would you like a hand with that door too" and I was like "no it's ok I'll use my (and indicated my elbow but like an idiot couldn't think what the word was for elbow)" It all happened so quickly but he was grinning and I'm sure I was grinning too coz when I walked in the office my colleague was like "u just seen that guy aint ya" and I was like "why?" she said you're bright red in the face and grinning like a cheshire cat. I swear I felt my face colour up.So guys after all that background information I'd like to know:Does he think the cleaner was referring to me when she said there's dozens of girls around here that are liking ya?Do you think he would be able to tell I like him?Do you think from what he said he doesn't have a serious partner ? as I can't be sure as she didn't ask him if he had a serious partner, just asked if he was married.thanks for reading
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): Answers to your questions:1. Yes, the cleaner was probably referring to you but didn't want to say "one particular girl" or something of the sort, just in case he tried to guess who liked him.2. I doubt he knows that you like him. You go out of your way to seem "normal" and indifferent because you are afraid of looking foolish (and we've all been there!). If you WANT him to know, then you will have to try and flirt a little bit.3. Depending on what kind of man he is, he could or could not have a serious partner. The less honest sort would reply they didn't have a wife but also leave out they have a girlfriend. The more honest will say simply they either are with someone or they aren't.I know you are nervous and flirting probably seems like a huge challenge but you will have to be a little more forward about your interest in him. I recommend starting off with compliments:This is what you do...The next time you see him, in the coffee room or whatever, (when you are somewhat in private) say "You know, you have really attractive eyes". Guarantee you he will get a big smile on his face and say thank you. This will let him know that you find him attractive and might be interested. From there, smile when you see him and say hello. Eventually he will get the point you like him. If he is man enough, he will probably do something about it...like ask you out. :-)
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