A
female
age
36-40,
*yofb
writes:Ive been seeing a guy for three months now. We live in different ciuntry and he visits my country for business once or twice a month and stays for two weeks or so. I planed to keep things casual but I think Im getting attached to this guy a little. We are not officially bf and gf yet but we agreed on that we are exclusive. And he calls me gf in front of his friends nd coworkers. And Im going to meet his mother this weekend. Sounds serious but the thing is we have never talked about where we are going and what we are. Usually we meet at night after work so we would rather have fun, go to club with friends partyig and mess with each other laughing making jokes than getting serious and talking heart to heart, which is delightful. And when hes not around me, out of country, I figured it doesnt feel right talking about feelings and relationship when we can talk to each other face to face. I mean, I dont want him to feel pressure or anything when he is working in a different time zone. Once I asked him like when he is leaving my country for good and then he said maybe after 6months he probably starts go to another country to work. And I said I really like him but I want to get ready for his leaving and I dont want to get attached to him too much. He said just lets see how it goes because 6months pretty long time. And now Im just confused. Not that Im going to blame him or anything. Just I really want to get ready if he sees us as just a casual fling. Get my guard on and enjoy whatever we have for now. But for now, its like mixed signals. Meeting his people and being exclusive yet Seeing the end from the begining and not talking about serious stuff at all(I tried in a subtle way but he tends to be playing cool or just makes jokes, I end up just laughing and thinking, eh forget it and enjoy what Ive got now.)
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female
reader, myofb +, writes (11 April 2012):
myofb is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. I should keep my guard on then.
Just hes been so sweet that I wanted to see what I wanted to see.
He calls me every night to check on me and pays attention on ny daily life, work and stuff. Even when he works till late he still wants to see me for dinner and then just gets back without any sexual contact sometimes. We went on many dates which are not always related to sexual intimacy. He talks about the marrage and the apartment hes got and he always wanted to get settled down with an asian woman.
But I wondered if hes serious or hes just the type of guy who likes to get close and do couples things everytime he dates a girl. Guess the latter, hindsight.
Ill just appreciate that hea being nice and keep it my mind that there isnt going to be any emotional strigs or responsibility. Its fine.
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 This one is potentially tough on you. Many men in a country (short term) that is not their home country have no trouble starting a relationship with a girl – knowing it will never become a long term thing. He only visits once or twice a month. And only for three months. That is not long.
Do not be fooled by him introducing you to his Mom. For guys who are players this is just to pacify you and give you hope. His other actions and reactions do not sound like a man who is willing to make permanent long term arrangements to be with you.
At best I think you have a part time Friend with Benefits which is a Long Distance relationship most of the time. This is a risky cocktail of maybe this and maybe that.
And only three months? Yes that is a little early to know where you are going.
Sorry but unless he changes his tune then you may need to insulate your heart so that when the break occurs that you have other interests to go on with.
Do not neglect your friends. Keep in touch with your friends as you are going to need them when he leaves your country for the next country, permanently.
Develop some hobbies and other interests too so that you have something else to fall back on when he does leave. That will help cushion the pain and also help you connect with and meet other people.
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