A
female
age
30-35,
*Janey'
writes:I have known my friend for nearly twelve years now but we never got close until secondary school, now he is always on my mind but i have a boyfriend and have been with him for two years and i do love him but its my friend we always talk we are so similiar, he is single now but a few months back we had cuddles and got a bit touchy feely but i think i like him but i dont want too because i love my boyfriend...help what do i do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): Break up with your boyfriend if you don't think you want to be with him. If you make a decision to be with your boyfriend you need to stop being that cuddly with your friend. Being a good girlfriend is not about never liking anyone else. Its about knowing what is right to do and not let things go too far. Lets face it, people fall in love and like each other without deciding to like each other, so there is little to do about that. What you can do something about though is to not let things go too far, or to develop. As a good girlfriend you have to step back, remember that you are someone elses girlfriend which limits your freedom. You can't cuddle with a boy you like when you have a boyfriend! Those are privileges for the singles. Cuddling and feeling up other guys is developing your relationship with them. When being in a relationship you're basically not allowed to go that far. If you let things develop you can get emotionally attached, which is what has happened. When you realize you like someone who is not your boyfriend, and you want to be with your boyfriend, remove yourself from the other person. Thats the easiest thing to do.
Basically what Im telling you is that you have three options:
1- be with your boyfriend and remove yourself from this other man
2- break up with your boyfriend and start developing a relationship with the other guy
3- break up with your boyfriend and not date the other guy either
A
female
reader, hanz1993 +, writes (18 January 2010):
 ok hun, well this is down too you. Know one can tell you what to do it has to be your own decision although we here at Dear Cupid can help guide you in the right direction.
Ok so you say you love your boyfriend, and you have been with him for two years which is quite a long time, so therefore it must be quite serious. Also it must be serious because you say you love him. Am I correct?
Ok then there's your friend. You have known him the longest out of the two I presume? And you probably feel around your friend that he's the person you could tell most your worries too, and tell him the things that you feel you can't tell your boyfriend. Yes?
So now's the hard bit. Do you want too risk hurting your boyfriend and jeopardising your friendship with your friend if things go wrong? Or do you want things too stay as they are thinking you have feelings for your friend and feeling like you are betraying your boyfriend?
Personally I would advise you too talk to your friend about how you are feeling, especially as you are close so he is more likely too understand than your boyfriend is. You see if your friend feels the same way because the chances are he could not and when you got a bit "touchy" with him he could of just been being a teenage boy because every teenage boy wants a grope every now and again.
Now hunny you love your boyfriend and you probably only "like" or "fancy" your friend. So therefore love over powers that and always comes first. Also if you ended up ending your relationship and going out with your friend then if something went wrong between you and your friend that would not only ruin your current relationship but ruin your good friendship as well.
Now darling I suggest talking to your friend about this as I have already said then see where you go from there. Mail me if you have any other queries about this. If not then I assume you know after talking too him what you are going to do about this situation.
You need to decide for yourself.
Hope this helps
Hanz
xxx
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