A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My Husband wants to know every where i go, gives me a time frame and hates that I am close to my family. if I don't tell him that I will have lunch with my mom and than I tell him when I am at lunch that i am having lunch with my mother he asks why didn't I let him know the day before when I knew about it. That I do not communicate with him, I should tell him every little thing that i do. when I go to lunch, who I talk to. If I don't remember who I spoke to and I have a ph # in my phone I am cheating and thretens to take my ph away or break it. what do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, szparaga +, writes (3 October 2008):
I have been through this and its not pretty. Everything you said is the 1st signs of an abusive relationship. This man is very insecure of himself, and is trying to control you. He seems jealous and is afraid of losing you. You have to be the strong one here, Let him know that you love him but you still have to have time for YOU, as he should do the same. Continue to do what you normally do, be yourself, he has trust issues, probably form his past somewhere. If you love him, tell him,but make it clear that you are human and have other friends and family that your NOT going to ignore. Explain to him, yor not changing, and if he cannot trust you then you both must let go. TRUST is a very important part of evry relationship, Without trust, how can there be true love? Allow equal time with him as well, but explain to him that he msut learn to trust, talk to him about his past, something has him scared, maybe you need some time to yourself away from him, and he does too. I have seen this and eventually it becomes emotional abuse and then physical. Be careful and follow your head, not your heart. Good Luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): RUN!!!! I was there it only got worse! What you described sounded very much like my life... quickly I had very few friends, I felt guilty talking to my family, I was paranoid to be out "too" long. My ex slowly started doing "odd" things. I excused EVERYTHING he did. I got shoved one day.... smacked a month later. He would scream at me, the abuse came slowly. Lasted about a year until he beat the shit out of me and I called the cops. You need to take a step back. You two need counseling NOW if you want to try and make it work, but my advice is to get out! Your better than that kind of crap!
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A
female
reader, candace +, writes (2 October 2008):
Why do men hit women? CONTROL... Yes, he is controlling and will continue to do so until you stop it.... SO STOP IT!!! If you have a logical thinking husband... you can try to bring this up for discussion and see if he is willing to work on it (THROUGH THERAPY) or get away...the next phases are not looking so good for you. Read up on domestic violence and emotional abuse...He is already abusing you.
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A
male
reader, masterofdestiny999 +, writes (2 October 2008):
 Honey, I hate to say this, but you have a controlling hubby. This guy is BAD NEWS. Trust me, I've seen this WAY too many times. One situation I saw was almost EXACTLY like yours. The way it ended? She was killed by her husband. You need to get divorce papers pronto. Seriously. In fact, do not hesitate. This man has no right to control you. You should be able to make your own decisions. I feel bad for you. You have fallen into the control trap big time. So, like I said, first thing after you read this answer, call a divorce lawyer, get the papers, get a divorce...but don't take the house. Take his money, but not the house. Find yourself a new place to stay until the divorce is finalized. Once it is, move to another location where he is unikely to find you. Remember how I told you about the situation where the wife got killed? That was my own mother. And my father killed himself after that. Please, take this advice. Message me if you wish.
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