A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:About 6 months ago I started talking to this guy on a dating site. I initially rejected him because he was much younger than me (9 years) but I thought he was attractive and agreed to have coffee. He was so flaky that we actually were never able to find a time that worked and therefore didn't meet. He would contact me out of the blue every few weeks/months and then disappear. I thought it was ridiculous and stopped being interested. I didn't ignore him but I just let it go until a week ago when after 2 months of not having heard from him he texted me to have coffee. And I decided to go. To my surprise, he actually showed up and he turned out to be a great guy in person and someone I would consider dating. We ended up talking for hours and we agreed to have dinner a couple days later.His texts were still separated by long bouts of silence. On the day we had dinner, I had to text him at 6pm to know if we were still on and agreed on a time. Weird in my opinion but again, he showed up and we had a great night and agreed to see each other the following weekend. The weekend comes and we agree to do something Sunday after lunch. But then I don't hear from him until Sunday 6pm. He said that his phone broke, he had a family event and is sick and asks me not to be mad and that he's not trying to avoid me or finding excuses to be flaky. I was a little upset and told him but quickly told him he was forgiven (seeing how apologetic he was). The thing is, he then got frustrated and has been much more distant since then. Less engaged via text and also I see him online on the dating site all the time. I have no idea what happened and I'm starting to believe that I don't have a clue about how men operate. Can someone help me understand what happened? I still want to see him, I just don't know what my next move should be.
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male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (26 November 2015):
As for your Sunday afternoon date, he probably woke up another woman and they decided to do something else that day. He has too many excuses. He has a list of girls and, given his long absences, you are not on the upper part of the list or you'd be seeing him more often.
Don't take this personally. The girls on the upper part of the list (like the one he was with on Sunday) are giving him sex. Forget this guy and consider it a lesson learned.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 November 2015):
 I think yo should trust your instinct that told you: " He's a FLAKE!!" and let him go.
I think he is dating multiple women at the same time and therefore have a little trouble keeping up on seeing them all.
You can do better. Yes, he might be a decent fella, but the whole contact/ no contact... it's flaky and you know it.
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