A
female
age
36-40,
*lordia_charm
writes:Is he a cheater, should i dump him?i want to first start out by saying i have been cheated on in the past and i think the cheating may be my problem now..?? so this is my problem, my boyfriend and i have been togther for 6 months, before starting a relationship we were best friends but keep in mind he cheated with his "at the time" girlfriend with me so he left her for me so shortly after March, our relationship kicked off in high mode traveling a lot and spending a lot of time with each other O-so in love ... then one day were out in tx visting his kids and i find a number from a girl in his bag, he promised he didnt know what it was about.(he has alot of companies) so i didnt pay it any mind after i got over, now we come to my real problems so one night im calling him non-stop for 4 hours. so im worried i drive 45 mins to his work place to make sure hes ok 101 things are running though my mind and yes cheating was one but his safety was my first thought.so i pull up to his place of work and walk in side to find 3 girls and 2 of his friends/co-workers. rewiring his poolroom he owns well the girls want to leave when i walk-in to, he gets off the lader and hugs them*then said it was nothing, a joke they come there to hang out.(it was after hours)so then a few months later im up there talking to him, im hurt because he just told me hes going to 6flags with his friends/co-workers(same guys)the next day so hes always working we never spend anytime together ,but he has time to go out with these guys to 6flags dinners etc. so long story short im leaving the parking lot and this little teenager runs up and jumps on him.i said a few choice words and left.(yet why would some random girl do that)i would never do that ..isnt it tashy? so then a month or so later im at his gas station getting gas and heading home "sam" had already left,as im leaving the same girls from the poolroom that time, came in wheres "sam" i need to talk to him hes not picking up his phone i need to hang out bla bla.. his friend says "sams" not taking phone calls right now...so i walk up to her and ask what she needs from him..she said o-i want to hang out we havent hung out in forever....so i call him and hand her the phone..she walks off so i cant hear her and shortly comes back hands me my phone then i leave and call"sam" he said i dont know what she wants "i didnt do anything i cant help other peoples actions"....then i forgave him.... now another few months past by its now 2nd week of sept. he got into a "problem" and had his mouth wired closed so i came up to his gas station to check on him to make sure he was able to drive ...so hes fine i leave to go get food that he can eat, after that he text me saying im on my way home not feeling well' ok so i think hes on his way home so i go pick up my brother and were running to take back "sams" shoes because i got the wrong size so were going by the gas station "sams"cars still there with the keys in his car unlocked with his personal bag there which he never leaves it, has money from the companies in it etc etc. just laying there so i then notice the same girl that i had the problems with before, her car is parked at the very back side of the gas station....i walk inside and "sams" no where to be found...(keep in mind he cant talk) so i ask the co-worker wheres sam?? o-he left with the ice man..(there is no i ice man).. i then find sam next door at the libary across the road, he said he was trying to get the guy that hit him...the guy cant be no more than 1000ft from him of his going to prison.. so why would he be there and why didnt i see him if thats the case so i come back to the gas station and ask the girl what shes doing there so said"o im with sam..MY THOUGHTS:::sam was in the car with her ducked down til i went in the gas station so i wouldnt see him and the ran to the libray and made up an excuse....OR AM'I TOTALY a wreck thinking hes cheating i mean this girls 17-18 and hes 36 .....please what do you think and what would you do??
View related questions:
best friend, co-worker, money, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): Well you have forgiven quite a lot of indiscretions along the way in such a short space of time...i have to say, if you ask him will you believe him anyway.
My advice, let him go, find a way of dealing with the past hurt and when you learn to forgive yourself for being misled you can then truly move on and be happy in a new relationship.
You already know him as a cheat and maybe its your own guilt that you got involved while he was still in a relationship that you can not put behind you.
it doesnt add up all the stories he tells you. i think its time to move on hunny and be happy, because he never will be, 1 day he wil lose what ever charm he has and the younguns will want more than a false promise of forever!
good luck
A
female
reader, sexi  +, writes (28 September 2007):
 Hi
The bad thing about being in love is that you love the person so much, that you wann believe the better part of the story. I was in the exact same position. You should speak to him and get some answers out of him. I think that you should set some boundaries for your relationship, you should also threaten to leave him if he continues to do what he is doing. If he really loves you then he he would stop all his tricks.
Good Luck,mail me if you wanna talk
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): I think you need to stop falling for these cheaters . Have you ever been in a relationship where you didn't cheat with the gy firt ?
'
Where do you meet these men? Why are you so obsessive about being cheated on ? How do you find peace by chasing down your man in hopes of catching him cheating? How is it your responsibility to keep him faithful?
What makes you think he's untrustworthy? How long have you suspected this? Does he have a"thing" for teens? When did ou meet him/how old were you? Has he ever hinted/joked of seeing someone else/cheating?
It could be he preys on the young,insecure and exploits their vunerability.
He isn't some great catch if he is a pedophile. He's not healthy. Money isn't worth being with him; he doesn't bring you happiness or peace.
Leave and love yourself and make yourself healthier and happier first.
No healthy,emotionally secure woman who loved and respected herself would put up with such an unreliable mle.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): thanks guys for all your help...so i did what you guys said ....and asked him up front he said no ....then a few days later the same damn girls walked in while i was there so they got scared and sam asked them in front of me "girl have i ever did anything with you guys and they said no" so all i can do is rebuild my trust right?? im doing good i just get alittle on the edge sometimes when i know its about the sametime for them to come in so i call him or i remind him not to have any bitches hang out.....our next plan is to move to tx from ga this march to start fresh and raise a family......anymore suggestions guys?
thanks bunches!!
...............................
A
female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (23 September 2007):
 take a time out and review your situation. you read so much into things and i think it comes don to your insecurities thanks to cheating ex's!!
anyway, what i suggest is you take a deep breath and think, would "sam" really hurt you buy creeping around with young girls young enough to be his daughter? possible but not likely. his work colleugues and just that, i used to go out with male work mates and their girlfriends got all funny about it and then the guys would say "oh your under the thumb" and etc, so why not be a cool girlfriend and trust this guy. just because you've been hurt in the past, don't judge all men by those guys standards.
ok, granted, your relationship didn't start off great because you'll have the doubt in your mind but you planted the seed yourself, you're no better getting involved with someone in a relationship and i don't know the whole story but you knew what yuo were doing.
give him the benefit of the doubt and just ask him outright but i don't think your conclusions were feesable because it's too much hassle for "sam" to have done just to prevent you from finding out.
best of luck
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (21 September 2007):
 Quit driving your self nuts, come right out and ask him if he's screwing this young thing. He has given you enough information to suspect something is going on. I'd just come out and ask him. This isn't because of being cheated on before. Even though you have been mistreated before, you still know, you don't loose your sense of something is just not working the way a normal relationship would go. I'd ask him, just say "so how was she" see his reaction. Its funny when put in that position, how even certain non verbal communications answer the question for you.
Take care.
...............................
|
