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female
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anonymous
writes: Is grinding with guys going to make the guys not like me or think I'm not good? I love dancing, all kinds, but I don't want to give anyone the wrong impression. I don't drink very much and I don't have sexual relations with guys, so am I leading them on when I do this. Am I making them not deem me as good, and therefore think less of me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2006): It honestly depends... on the scene, on the standard type of dancing on the floor, and even on the guy himself.
If he's drunk he probably won't even remember that you danced in the first place, so go ahead and have fun. But otherwise it might. I go to a lot of parties (greek life in college is great but it leaves you broke..). I don't drink and I don't hook up with anyone, but I do dance. By the end of the night I've dance with all the frat guys, and they're so drunk that they need photographic evidence of anything they want to remember.
And I'm the sweetheart of the group. So it REALLY depends on the guys..
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2006): The short answer is "Yes." Grinding is a pretty sleazy trend, and is causing dancing to be banned at some high schools because the kids want to do what they see adults and celebs doing. I was shocked to see this going on when I recently went to pick up my daughter from the homecoming dance. She wasn't involved in it, but I was disgusted that she had to be exposed to it. She is just 15, and there were other kids there as young as 13. There will be no more school dances for her unless I get assurance that grinding will be off limits.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (20 October 2006):
 When a woman touches a man, whether gently on the arm, or grinding in a club, a man will assume she likes him, and wants him to pursue her...unless she is being paid to touch him like an escort or a contact dance stripper.
Your intentions notwithstanding...you get to choose your actions, but not how those actions are perceived.
If you must grind dance, make sure you do it with guys that know the limitations of the dance...but if in the end you actually like one of these guys, they will see you as a sex object, but not as a girlfriend material, as they already grinded with you.
If you do it with your male friends, chacnes are they might start to think you have feelings for him, and he will pursue you.
Find yourself a homosexual male friend if you must grind dance. That is about as safe as you can get.
If you grind, guys will not really care if you are "nice". They only really care that you come across as horny for them.
-Frank B Kermit
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2006): Depends on the circamstances sweetie if your grinding with people you know within a social situation on a night out say thats fine
but theres a time and a place I knew this girl from college who was grinding with a lad in a writing lesson she stood in the middle of the table and then did a full Britney speers Dance routine which is immature attention seaking in my opinan,
maybe you could tone it down a little and show a more cooler side to your charecter this can come across as more sexy less is more to guys somtimes, then a "Look at me" Dance
although you might not mean to do this is how you could be coming across but they probebly dont think your cheep but if you wont respect and more attention the less is more thing works a charm and you could put your love of dance to good use and go to dance class maybe get your male friends to come see your show Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (20 October 2006):
 It's a suggestive way of dancing and so likely that some men may take it as a come on or a sign that you're "up for it". But if you take care of yourself, keep yourself out of danger and make your intentions clear when confronted, there's no harm in grinding. I don't see why you should stop doing something you love just to save face, you're doing nothing wrong. It would be their problem, not yours.
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