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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 6 months. He's amazing and we love each other and he has helped me out so much. We come from completely different backgrounds, so I know nothing about his past except what he tells me. The other day, I found that he still has pictures of his ex-girlfriend in his room (Mind you, this girl also cheated on him and just stopped talking to him). Also, he has a letter he wrote to her after their break-up which says that he misses her, loves her, and is hers forever. I've asked him if he's ever said he loved anyone else, and he said no-an obvious lie. Also, he's lied about how long they went out for. I need help because I feel like he is just using me as a replacement since he cant have her. Plus, there's the fact that he STILL has all this stuff laying around his room. What do y'all think is up? I want to know if he really loves me or if I am just second best.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2006): i think that u shud tell him ur uncomfortable with the stuff aswell!..he shud at least box it up n put it at the back of his wardrobe or sumfing..i dunno..i kinda know how ur feeling tho...u want to be the only gal in his life..if he didnt really like u..he wudntve have stayd for 6 months..dont pressure him too much..be u...the gurl hes goin out wid now..the gurl that charms his pants off...make him feel as tho ur the best thing thay eva hapend to him..dont yelll tho..guys hate that..jus be all sweeet n gurly...he'll warm up to ya..n ask him..'am i second best'..say it nicley..n see wa he sez...good luck..freind x
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (20 October 2006):
 Stop testing him and setting him up. If you see stuff, tell him. If you're snooping, expect to find nasty surprises but face up to those consequences. Tell him what you know and apologize for doubting him but ask why he lied. He's allowed to have loved before you but perhaps he doesn't think you'd want to hear that, so a bit of a daft question to ask. He may have been very hurt after that breakup but that doesn't necessarily mean you're second best. The thing is, if she IS his first choice, is he supposed to stay single forever in case she goes back to him. Life goes on and maybe he's just trying to move on. If you think it's too soon for him, ask him if he feels that. Just communicate with him.
Lots of people have a past, perhaps he's trying to keep his there, but you are the one fixating on it? Maybe not, but hopefully it will all come out when you chat.
Maybe if you've been together 6 months, he'll understand when you tell him you feel uncomfortable with the photos. He may well be oblivious to them and readily get rid of them. If not, that's something to talk about. Don't be scared of talking if you feel you need answers.
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