A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 19 years old and 6 months pregnant. I dont feel at all ready to give my baby the best life he can have. I love him with all my heart, but im just not ready. I want to give custody to my parents. They want a baby and would love their grandbaby just as much as their own. Is this such a bad thing? Does this mean ill never be a good mom In the future?? Am i wrong for not wanting him....
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female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (21 September 2011):
 Giving your parents custody is probably the right thing to do. If you truly feel you are not ready for a baby, then allowing him to have the best life he can proves that you are already a great mother. It takes courage to admit that you are not ready for this life long commitment and it takes even more courage to give your parents custody. It also shows that you already love him enough to put yourself second to his best interests. Just by what you are doing, I think you will make a very good mother when you are ready to become one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): No, it is not wrong at all. If you believe they can offer him the life you cannot, then it is 100% right. Also, it doesn't mean you don't love your baby. It means you love him enough to give him a chance that at this moment, you could not!
It takes a strong and generous heart to give up a baby. You someday you will make a great mother! This is because you have such love for your children, you are willing to give them what is best.
My step-aunt gave my "step-uncle" to her mom and dad to raise. My grandmother was also raised by her grandparents. Once upon a time it was very common.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 September 2011):
 You do want him. And you love him. That's why you didn't abort him, and that's why you want to give the custody of him to someone else, who you know will give him all that he needs.
If you are able to let him to your parents I think that will be wonderful. That way, instead of being his mother who would not be able to provide with much, you can be his loving older sister. As he grows older he will also know that you are his biological mother, and he will not need for more because he has you near in his family, even though you were not the one to raise him. He'll know who you are.
It is not a bad thing to do. It is a difficult, but loving thing to do.
I had a friend who got pregnant at 15 or 16. She gave her baby up for adoption to her aunt and uncle, and were allowed to visit him and see him. I think that is great, rather than giving the child away to strangers and never seeing your child again, or know how they are doing. She was not able to give much to the child, and giving him up for adoption, as I see it, is not an act of cowardliness or giving up responsibility. It's acknowledging what you can offer and what you can not, and have a big enough heart to want what is best for your child.
By being his sister instead of mother, you can give him everything you can give, love and affection, and at the same time be assured that everything you can not give, he will get from your mother and father.
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A
male
reader, EyesofJag +, writes (20 September 2011):
It is not a bad thing. In fact, it's probably one of the hardest and bravest things you'll ever do. You recognize that you may not give your baby a life he or she deserves, so you give your baby to the care of people who will give him or her a good life. That is an act of love, not of selfishness.You MUST think long and hard about this decision, though. You must go with it full force and maintain the decision all of your life. It will be hard for your baby and your parents if you decide otherwise down the road. My brother recently adopted children and it's been hard because he, and his wife, have given them such a full life. The mother, who is a bad person, now wants them back. She is completely unfit to be a mother, and the courts have ruled so. If this continues, it will end up bad for the children.Think long and hard and realize it is what's best...and it's the right thing to do.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 September 2011):
 No, nothing wrong at all. It's a very mature and selfless thing to recognize that you won't be able to give your baby everything she/he deserves. Since your parents want a baby, it seems like a good way to turn a crappy situation into a tolerable one. I'm sure someday when you're ready you'll be a great mom, especially being able to make such a hard decision for the wellbeing of your child. Make sure you discuss with your parents how you will handle telling your child about the situation when she/he's old enough. Best of luck.
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