A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I guess it started about twelve years ago. I was eleven and liked to read online stories about my favorite characters. They were written by people all across the world, fans who were just as fanatic as I was. It was an incredible way to live on the stories that I loved. Evidently this has changed. It's been a slow progression, but now I read porn and fantasize about my favorite characters (no not the actors themselves). At work and school, whenever. I don't feel exactly ashamed to admit this (there are far worse hobbies), more uncomfortable. It is such a covert issue, yet I know many other people are a part of it.Problem is: I want to be closer to the Lord; can I do these things and be? I have complex thoughts/feelings towards this situation, and it's one such that I don't know who I could turn to for advice. The only negative consequence I can see now it's had in my life is that I feel less creative—things have *got* to have sex. I think my horizon used to be a bit more broard, if that makes any sense.Maybe this is a weird dilemma to you, maybe not. Thanks to anyone who puts their two cents in.
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male
reader, Garbo +, writes (4 May 2015):
 Your question is more approriate for a theological forum, but to answer your question from the strictly theologically Christian position, fantasizing sexually about people is considered a sin because it belongs in the realm of lust, and as lust that is outside of marriage, fantasizing is therefore a sin. This conclusion is derived from Mathew 5:27 where Jesus says "You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[a] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
Ideally, therefore, people should not fantasize. Practically, however, that is nearly impossible. So the way to deal with it is to aim to minimize such activity or to restrain it about a person you are married. Absent that, a priest might tell you that you should pray not to get into temptation and for atonement of your sin.
Christianity takes a skeptical view about very many activities humans do and questions their "goodness" so with what you are asking about.
Of course, some people will use fancy science, with different suppositions to claim that sexual fantasies are good, but all that proves another Christian dictum that reason is not an end-all but just a tool that facilitates logic for good and for evil.
If you aim to be closer to the Lord, then try to minimize fantasizing, pray often after fantasizing that the fantasies don't leave a evil impulse in you and seek forgiveness through fasting and doing good deeds.
Alternatively, if you don't care about the Lord, or think that there is no God, or for whatever reason you disagree with the above said, then disregard everything I said above and embrace any of the several theories that utilize science to derive some sort of a conclusion on sexual fantasy.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2015): hello, you creative person, there is nothing wrong in fantasising about a fictitious character, it is all perfectly normal particularly because it is safe.No one gets hurt..and i think it is most unlikely to offend the Lord as he created you in the first place.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (4 May 2015):
Sexual desire was given to us by GOD for our partners...mainly Husbands and wife.
However, fantasies do lead to one thing that is destroying many relationships and marriages from day one... LUST...Unfortunately, many have fallen victim to this and have gone so far as to prefer fantasy women and men over the real thing. In fact...many have killed and raped because of their lust. That is the reason why GOD does not want people spending time committing that sin. It leads to nothing good.
Here is the another fact...What it done for you? Has fantasizing given you any worth while in life? Better job, better boyfriend, better anything? Some people believe it gives them better sex... but it doesn't. If your partner does not rock your world without your need to fantasize about someone else...how is that better sex?
No hand looks like a penis...and toy would ever replace real, good, mind binding sex.
This is what the Bible has to say...
"But because there is so much immorality, every man should have his own wife, and every woman should have her own husband. A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs. A wife is not the master of her own body, but her husband is; in the same way a husband is not the master of his own body, but his wife is. Do not deny yourselves to each other"
This way some people have bad relationships. Both husband and wife, or sometimes just one of them, do not fulfil their duty. They expect the other one to do all the work, and the complain when things are no to their standard.
The man and the woman are not master of their own sexuality, but the other partner is. If you spend all your time pleasing yourself, how will your partner learn to please you?? Because most people say...He/she doesn't know how to do this right, so I will do it myself...How can they learn to please you if you are not teaching?
Think about it...If people in a relationship actually follow these rules of please each other and not themselves, or someone else (cheating), how amazing would relationships be?
Even if you DON'T believe in GOD and still follow those rules...Relationship would be much better and much more simpler.
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