A
female
age
26-29,
*andyCurves
writes:Does he like me or was it because we were both drunk? Guy in my class invited me to his birthday drink up with a couple of his mates.I was the only girl. Didn't mind, we're good friends( forgot to mention i kinda fancy him!) So we got drunk at his, he got high then we all hit town. He took me to a shisha bar (hookah bar) on our way there he kept giving me piggy back rides. Whilst we were smoking he got touchy/feely and kept saying how I was his favourite girl in college. I gave him a massage and he kept saying how good I was. We then played footsie lying back (not together) and when his best friend made a comment- he ignored him. Most significant thing was he excluded everyone from our smoking pipe and made sure only me and him used it. Awkwardly, he gently 'fed' me the pipe and didn't allow me to use my hands. It sounds weird, do you think its meaningful?P.s- we sobered up by the time we got to the shisha bar. We didnt get high/drunk from then on ,you cant get high from shisha anyways
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (20 December 2011):
 I know your not listening to the lectures about no drinking or getting high, so I'm not gonna play mother and waste time.
Sounds like flirting to me, but how can you take that seriously... my dad forgets me mother is his ex-wife of 30years, and keeps saying "I love me wife" every time he gets social and has a drink...
People who are are high or drunk say a lot of strange things. It could be what's in his heart, it could be the intoxicants talking... Best thing is to wait until he is sober and ask him out for a coffee or to the movies or something. If he say yes, then it's a date and you'll know he's interested. No good doing sex things, until your sure that he want's to be a proper boyfriend first, and know you with your clothes on, in a world not coloured rosy pink with mind changing substances.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011): Hey, I think some of the other posters on here might have very different lifestyles to you (geographically, "generationally", moral choices etc) and so do not understand the context of the situation. I am 4 years older than you but it sounds like my teenage years were not so different. Not undermining their opinions, just saying context is important.I often go out with guys as the only girl as I get on with guys well and have good guy friends that I trust and know well. So I wouldn't worry about that situation, as others have suggested, if you too feel that way about these guys. However if you don't feel totally comfortable with them maybe its not such a good situation just because sometimes a guy group can be intimidating and you can't really be yourself if you are a bit of an outsider. Maybe spend some time with this guy on your own. Sounds like you are having a good time as "one of the guys" as such. I think it is safe to say this guy is attracted to you. Question is... is he a good'un? Decent way of testing this might be to carry on hanging around with him and enjoying flirting with him for a while but do not actually do anything with him, if you get my drift. If he keeps inviting you out he is obviously enjoying your company too, but if he loses interest quickly, maybe he is after sex. HOWEVER I almost wrote "just after sex" there and reassessed what I had written... you may (I don't know you so exploring all avenues here) want that too if you fancy him... in which case the fact that he is after sex should not mean he is demonized as a bad guy to avoid (loads of teenage guys aren't looking to settle down but are still great people). sex is good and you may want to experience it with someone you fancy! Take in mind you have to spend time with this guy and all his friends at college for another few years so please tread very carefully hun. Hope this helps :) I'll check the post if you wanna write back or anything.
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A
female
reader, Katie7062  +, writes (19 December 2011):
Since all of the others who answered are older i will give you a 17 year old perspective. The "fondling" or whatever didn't mean anything... he may enjoy your company and think your chill but thats probably the extent of it. I went through something like this a month ago. The guy was stoned out of his mind and i was very very drunk. I also have a boyfriend but i was angry at him so i made out with the high guy and sat in his lap... long story short he kept rubbing my "ja ja" ;] and whispering things in my ear... but it didnt mean anything becuase we havent talked since
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011): You will have to learn that nothing that happens while intoxicated is meaningful in life, not truly.
Lots of hurtful things happen eventually because of drugs or alcohol, but even worse, lots of meaningful and wonderful loving things do not happen because of them.
Do some reading about the effects of drugs and alcohol in people's lives, the damage, and try to realize that you are no different than any of the rest of us.
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (19 December 2011):
Neither of you should be getting drunk or high.
Stay away from situations where that's going to happen.
Meet boys in sober contexts. Most boys will want to have sex with you if you will let them. But they won't want to be your bf if you are an easy lay. [ And believe me : ANY teenage boy you have sex with will tell ALL his mates he's done it with you ..... so only have sex with someone you are happy for everyone to know you have done it with.]
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 December 2011):
 What people do when they are drunk and/or high doesn't necessarily mean anything. If he asks you out on a date when he's sober, then you'll know.
For the time being, it's safer to assume his inhibitions are lowered when he's drunk and will likely do things he wouldn't do when sober. If he doesn't do this stuff when he's sober, well, then he doesn't like you in the way you obviously hope.
I'd back off on the cuddly/flirty contact when he's drunk/high. If he's drunk/high a lot, well, that's an even better reason to back off.
Make him work for your attention; guys tend to value someone who isn't perceived as being easy to bed. Many will happily sleep with a girl but they won't date her afterwards. It gets more complicated if she's considered part of the group of friends too.
So he may have some feelings of attraction to you, now make him DO something about it if he wants to keep your attention. And by doing something, I don't mean allowing him to have a lot of physical contact with you for now.
'Ha, Bob, that was very flirty stuff we did but that's it for now, as that's the kind of thing I'm going to do only with a proper boyfriend.'
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A
female
reader, CandyCurves +, writes (19 December 2011):
CandyCurves is verified as being by the original poster of the question he didn't make a move on me plus he was the one looking after me all night. the drinking was just thethe fun social part of it . I had a great night, no regrets but I was just curious ...
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (19 December 2011):
 OP, I am going to give you a bit of hard advice.
You are ONLY 16. You shouldn't be getting drunk or high - both being illegal at your age.
Boys and men will have no respect for you if you give in to drunken fumblings or sex. From the sounds of what you are saying he just wants a girl he can mess about with.
He isnt interested in *you* you are just the most receptive girl to his advances. He only wants to use you and sounds like a rather manipulative piece of work, trying to get you mellow so he can take advantage.
The fact that he drinks and gets high should be enough of a red flag to make you steer well clear of this boy. He sounds like bad news.
Stay away from this one, he sounds like trouble and you could end up in pretty bad mess if you carry on. Your own personal safety is the most important thing and you are worth a million times better.
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