A
female
age
30-35,
*ose101
writes:I have this friend whom I known for a long time actually he was my crush way back in high school. Before, I only see him once a year every reunion of our batch since we enter college in different place. When we were in our 3rd in college he transfered school near to our school but its not anymore big deal to me because he was just my crush in high school. He once contact me and ask me to watch movie but I refuse since I'm too busy then cause we are both graduating. And I don't know the feeling, it seems that I'm afraid to see him. Maybe I'm afraid that I might fall for him or something? And I know that we were both in a relationship then. The time came that we had our batch reunion. Then I saw him, he still the guy I've known from the start. Funny, cute, and caring.. I can't explain why but it seems I still like him. He always treat me special but he never ask me if i like him or what. At that time, he is still in a relationship while I'm not but I don't want to ruin their relationship so never said anything to him about my feelings. After 2 years I guess, he broke up with his girlfriend. I only knew it through a friend since we never communicate to each other. One time, we had a batch reunion again, then I saw him. I always find my self smiling seeing him. But still, don't understand the feeling. He talk to me and ask regular things, like "how r u?" and "how things going?". Then, he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend last 4 months. And he ask me if I'm in a relationship right now. How could this happen?? Are we really not meant for each other? Before his in a relationship while I'm not and now I'm in a relationship while he is not! Does the destiny playing with us? Why do I feel this way if we were not really meant to be? Then he never ask me about those things anymore.Now, after almost 3 years since I last attended the batch reunion. I am working now, and a friend told me that he is still in school since he stop studying for one year to take care of his sick father. Then when I open my facebook account he add me up. Then I saw that he was online. I was so nervous when I saw his name in online list. But I never chat or what. Then after how many minutes, he chat me and ask my mobile number since we never communicate with each other thats why he don't have my mobile number. I gave it to him since we still friends. After how many days, he contact me and ask me to watch movie with some of our friends so I came. We were the first persons who came early. I was so nervous then. Why him? I wish I was late too like my other friends. But when I looked at him. He never change. And I realized at that moment, my feelings for him never change but became stronger. At that time, our friends contact us and told they will be late for an hour. So we decided to eat together. We talk a lot, laugh, and share different things that happened to each of us after those year with no communication. Damn! I was so happy.. We we're both happy. Since then, we always contact each other. We say hello and ask regular things to each other. But, I know this things should end. Cause I'm still in a relationship. And can't explain why these things is happening. I don't want to hurt anybody. I never wanted these things happened. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend's feeling so I decided to stop communicating with my friend. I ask him to stop communicating me. It hurts, I know. I don't know what's the destiny want us to do. But I only knew this things should stop. I have to let him go...
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