A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a question about my ex. He is a narcissist. I have figured out that much and am doing a good job at overcoming the situation. He left me. Anyways, it has been almost two months of being broken up. He finally moved out but have done some stupid stuff for attention. He broke in and stole stuff,etc. He says that he doesnt want any reason for us to have to contact each other but it obviously isnt true since he asked me to come get my stuff after he broke in and stole it. So in these two months we have only gone two days in a row without talking. I usually text him first about either getting my stuff back or a question I have about something of his or him paying me back money. He always responds if it is not about me calling him out on how messed up he is. He rarely contacts me first. If he does it is after two days of not hearing from me and he will ask something stupid that he knows the answer to. Anyways, two days ago he was being really nice and asking me to come hang out and stay with him. I told him that I am busy and now he is being somewhat rude again. So my question is.... Since he really doesnt try to contact me too much do you think that if I cut off contact he will go away? Or do you think that he will just start trying harder to see me and make contact?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 June 2010):
 The police can help you get your stuff back. Don't expect to get your money back though. Yes, it's best to cut off all contact with him. He's a narcissist so he's only concerned about himself. Let him be that way. When he knows that you won't play his game and you are no longer useful to him, he'll give up and find another target.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 June 2010):
 Okay, you need to change the locks on your doors immediately, and you need to let go of any stuff or money he owes you. You need to eliminate ALL reasons you have for communicating with him, period.
You don't see it, but you are the one sustaining contact here. You want to make him pay for what he did to you, and you want to stay in contact. Of course, you have a "reason" for doing it - he has "stuff" or "money".
Likewise, he's calling you to bug you and continuously knock you off balance emotionally, and you're letting him by responding to him.
It's gotta be over. Any money you've lent him, you're never going to see. Likewise, any stuff he has of yours is gone too. If he has the power to break into your house, take it away from him so that the only way he can get into your house is to break a window or crowbar a door, and then you can call the cops on him.
However, I'm thinking he won't be doing that again if you change the locks on your doors. That'll cost you all of $60 for a locksmith to come in and do that, or you can do it yourself if you're handy with a screwdriver.
END all contact. Delete his number from your cell. Erase his emails. Get rid of all gifts and pictures. If he tries to call you, DO NOT ANSWER. If he shows up, tell him you never want to hear from him again. If he ignores your directive to never see you again, call the cops and get a restraining order.
But YOU can't get yourself drawn into the same stupid arguments, the same rehashing of the past, and the same talking in endless circles. You've gotta break yourself out of the drama addiction. You'll feel a lot better!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): He sounds like an immature attention seeker! I think you sound like you could do better, I think cutting off contact is a good idea,, just watch ou because if your not giving him attention he might trypull some stupid stunts!
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