A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im in my second year of college and I have never beeb so lonely in my life. I know people but I feel I have no REAL friends that I can depend on. I had a best friend last year who I always partied with and stuff but we had a falling out becuase of this thing and she moved away and we dont even talk anymore. I live with girls who I knew through her and they basically worship the ground she walks on and dont really like me. I have nothing in common with them, they are very immature, loud and even talk about me behind my back. My ex boyfriend who I gave my virginity to basically used me and now he is coming around again, hoping that I will sleep with him (which I wont) and knowing that I love him, he tries to take advantage of this. All of my guy friends who I was close with last year try to hook up with me when they are drunk and I dont even hang out with them anymore. I had one close friend here who I really opened up to, but she has been ignoring my calls and avoiding me and I dont even know why. I was on a sports team last year, but it was filled with so much drama that I (and 3 other people) just left. I try to make friends in class and talk to some people but they usually dont want to hang outside of class. Weekends are the worst when I dont really do anything, since I have no one to hang out with. I now just focus on my studies and excersice since it makes me feel a little better. I just dont get it. I mean Im smart and easy to get along with. People tell me Im attractive and beautiful but guys just try to use me and never want to have a relationship with me. I have been so depressed lately and am on the verge of tears almost every day. Should I just drop out?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): I'm in quite a similar situation. I live with three really fun guys but i just found out that one of them (my best friend) is transferring next semester, and the other has to drop out, leaving just me and my other roommate, who I'm the least close to. I'm in the middle of my sophomore year and it really sucks that I have to start from scratch. However as shitty as it is, I am honestly trying to take this as an opportunity to overcome my insecurities and just meet, and feel confident around more people. I really think that everyone goes through shitty periods like we are, but instead of sitting around feeling like crap, we need to move and kick lonelinesses' ass, as corny as that is.
A
female
reader, katatonik +, writes (23 November 2008):
 I honestly think some of that is the nature of college. I definitely felt similarly when I was a freshman/sophomore several years ago. You go from having fairly small classes of 25-30 people (most of whom you probably already know) in high school, to lecture halls filled with 50 or 200 strangers worried about their grades. Doesn't make for a great social environment. I'd suggest getting involved with activities or groups outside of school and meeting people that way. You'll already have at least one interest in common with those people. Good luck =]
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (23 November 2008):
 Hi there! I am in uni at the moment too, and hehhe, I felt so lonely today that I've just cried for 2 hours non stop, now my face is so swollen and red...
I am in a bit of a different situation from yours, I am in a long distance relationship (ive been with my boyfriend for a little over a year). But lately I just felt that hes got so much going on in his life, he basically makes sure that he doesnt have a spare evening, always either having a class after work or meeting friends. We used to talk on msn every day or every other day. Now its barely once a week. I just feel like whats the point of all of this, but maybe its just winter blues...well november blues...
I tried to get myself really busy too, I do sports 3 times a week and twice a week I sing, so I am kept busy, but of course you cant study all the time, and I still do have time to myself. I live in halls and just have to look after my room, cook for one person - and im constantly on a diet, so I only get to cook a proper meal once a day. I do spend a lot of time on my own, I know people from my course of course, but as in your situation we NEVER hang out together, people just dont do that here in England it seems, or at least on my course! Cause I know medics do hang out...
Basically what I was trying to say - hang in there, we all experience this horrible loneliness at some point, some more than others. I am very picky with my friends, and as a result I dont have that many...well here I dont have a single one, so it can be rather depressing.
Try taking up some other activity where you might meet more people maybe? I have to say though that I havent made any friends that way, its my fourth year in uni and I havent made a single friend directly through uni. I used to be very close to my flatmate last year, but she left now. I do get along with my new flatmates so I might pursue my friendship with one of them. In my singing classes I chat to people but thats about it I think, the same in my karate class, just general chit chat, then everyone goes home to their own life. I never thought making friends was going to be so hard!!!
Check out what kinda societies youve got at your uni, maybe you will find something you will really enjoy there and meet new friends that way...
Anyway, not much advice here, I just wanted to let you know that there are more people in similar situation to yours.
Feel free to write me if you ever feel like it.
Take care x
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A
male
reader, SinVA +, writes (23 November 2008):
No. I feel the same way. I am in college, and after breaking up with my girlfriend, I feel really lonely. I guess, the trick is to get involved in a bunch of activities. Sports, clubs, wahtever you find interesting. Pick up a new hobby, learn something new, anything to get out there. I study, go to the gym, play sports, meet with clubs, and attend random school events, and though I don't meet many people, the fact that i'm out doing somthing keeps my mind away from depression and lonliness. Most schools usually throw events on weekends, I know my school shows movies fridays and saturdays aswell as other stuff, so if you are feeling bored go see whats going on around campus.
Partying isn't all its cracked up to be, I used to go out and drink and whatnot but I realized the best weekend was, when i had a girl, hanging out in my apartment just watching TV or somthing. Hopefully you will meet somone who shares the same interests as you. I'm still looking for that person, so until then, realize you arn't the only college kid feeling lonely. Hope this helped a little, and don't drop out, it will get better
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