A
female
age
36-40,
*rmyofme
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for two years, and we usually see each other 3-4 times a week. I last saw him 10 days ago when we made plans for the following weekend. That Friday he went out on the town with the boys for a leaving do from work. I was due to see him the next evening, but he called and said he had flu and a horrible hangover so he couldn't come over. He's refused my offers to visit him while he's been unwell but has stayed in touch by phone. He said he felt better 2 days ago and returned to work on long shifts today so I won't see him for another few days at the earliest. It's unusual for us to spend so much time apart, even through the worst of sicknesses.My boyfriend has lied to me often in the past about nights out (covering them up and pretending to take early nights). These were completely pointless lies since I've never had any issues with him having nights out and only encouraged it - but I guess he has pretty antiquated ideas about women. Needless to say, these lies were quite hurtful, and since they were so needless I wondered if he was covering them up because he was up to no good. I got over this but I guess I'm left a little insecure.It's starting to concern me he's been so distant since that night. He tends to deal with things by avoidance. Am I worrying myself over nothing??
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (3 November 2011):
No you are not worrying yourself over nothing, at the end of the day he has a history of lying to you, so off course it is going to make you wonder why he is avoiding you now. If I were you I would say to him that you heard from someone that he got with another girl on his night out and ask him if it is true, if he gets really up tight and angry well then I would be worried that he has got something to hide. You need to trust him in order for this to work. If you feel he is avoiding you out of guilt well then the next time you see him look him in the eye and it should be obvious that he is feeling guilty. Maybe he really was just sick and needed the time on his own who knows.
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