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I'd like to be the one to start the spark for a change. How can I do this?

Tagged as: Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 November 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 3 November 2011)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have a good bisexual friend (and by friend I mean we see each other almost every day at university, we go out to movies, concerts, parties, we talk about what's going on in our lives and in general we like hanging out together) with whom I've hooked up several times (no intercourse but heavy foreplay). For example, the other night he came over to my house with some other friends and they all slept over. We fell asleep holding hands and after a while I woke up to his caresses. He ended up climbing into bed with me and we fooled around during most of the night.

So anyways, getting to the point, I've noticed that he's always the one initiating this contact and I'd like to be the one to start the spark for a change. How can I do this? (Nothing too drastic, please, I'm really, really shy and I'm actually pretty proud of just having the thought of starting something- something I've never done before).

The second thing I've noticed is that though we hook up, it seems he's not much into kissing. He kisses my temple, my cheeks, my neck... but rarely kisses my lips. Could there be a reason for this? Could it be because he's bisexual?

I like kissing and I would like for there to be more kisses in the mouth involved when we hook up (the few times we have, it has been really hot!). Once again, I'm really shy, and treading carefully with all this, because this is my first friends with benefits relationship and I don't want to screw it up and lose the friendship all together for something like a kiss (and please, I know the rant that FWB don't last, usually someone gets hurt...so, please, don't lecture me on how by actually being sex buddies we're already jeopardizing the friendship- I am aware of all this). So anyways, question is, any suggestions on how I can involve more kissing next time we hook up? Should I just go for it and kiss him? I'm a little afraid he'll back off, move his face or something...

Oh, and just as a note in case anyone is wondering, no, I'm not interested in pursuing a relationship with my friend. I adore him, but I'm not in love with him and the idea of starting a relationship right now doesn't appeal to me at all, with him or with anyone for that matter.

View related questions: foreplay, friend with benefits, kissing, shy, spark, university

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (3 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntSimple the next time he is lying beside you just start of by slowly stroking his leg or his arm or even his face, as for kissing well nobody got anywhere in this world without trying so just go for it, you have nothing to lose, yes you may be shy but just find the strength within you to just go for the kiss.

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