A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I have been living with my boyfriend about 4 months now. We've known each other for 8 years. we met while he was married, started a relationship then, but we ended it after a year when we realized it was not right and he would not leave his children. I went on to marry someone else, and his wife left him for another man after having several affairs. He is great in so many ways. He takes very good care of me and my daughters who are 16, 3, and 1. He is always home, he works from the home, and we never need for anything. Somehow, I have insecurities due to the fact that I know he had an affair on his first wife with me. He says he has always been in love with me hence why we always kept in touch. I get very afraid when we go out and I see other pretty woman. I always feel he will be embarrased of me and perhaps feel that he is missing out on someone more beautiful. We have been fighting much lately. Almost every day. When we try to discuss our problems he will not let me explain things, misconstrues everything I say, and likes to do most of the talking. How do I get him to engage in better communication with me. Is better communication what we need? Someone sensible please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): perhaps your fears are justified. anyways do not blame his wife for having an affair. after all he was giving it to you for a long time. your insecurities will drive him into the arms of another woman. you know what you did was wrong- having an affair while he was married. yet you continued. he has had a taste of forbidden fruit and he may start enjoying the same if you start acting like a nagging wife - and you have already started. now that boring monotony is creeping into your relationship this will show you just how hard marriages are. in fact you may be living proof that the grass was not greener. when something is borne out of betrayal and deceit it breathes more betrayal and deceit. where is your husband by the way? did you also leave him to be with this man?
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 Well you nailed the worst part of it you shouldnt of been sleeping with him whilst he had a wife you should of just walked away, but you took a different path that has leaded in the middle neither good nor bad. of course your gonna think he will do the same to you its karma bitting you in the ass. you need to talk to him about your worrys and fears but you need to sort out the communication problem first. tell him you want to talk and that you want him to listen not to talk just listen to what you have to say and then once your finished then he can give his ideas on the subject. if you want this to work then you have to do what is nessescary to make it work. and about you thinking he will feel embaressed to you is you felt like the special woman when you were with him when he was with his wife and self conciously you feel that if he had another girl on the side that she would be that special bit on the side. if you want this to work then you either stay with him or walk but you kinda made your bed and now your gonna have to choose to lie in it or walk away. life is only as good as you make it. good luck keep us updated would be nice aphex xx
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