A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Do I need to become a bit more bitchy to have a long term relationship? People always comment on how nice, sweet, easy to talk to I am, and I treat people well, but is that bad for a relationship? Too boring, perhaps? I know people who are really not very nice people who have successful long term relationships. My ex, who treated me appallingly badly and was emotionally abusive to me, had previously been in a 4 1/2 yr relationship in which he was engaged to be married (and he was only 22 when they split up) and they were deeply in love. Another case is my ex-best friend who was hugely manipulative and other people describe as a bitch has had a 4 long term relationships and yet here I am in my early thirties and I have never had a relationship reach a year long! Pretty, successful girls throw themselves at my ex all the time, yet the only men I seem to attract are significantly older married men, men with a ton of baggage or loads of problems, players or geeks. I am really flattered that they like me, but why these types of people? All I want is a reasonably attractive, relatively normal man with a sense of humour. Is that too much to ask? Have I got the problem?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): You shouldn't have to change who you are to be in a relationship, there's always gonna be someone out there who needs to be cared for, nobody's perfect (although i fail to see how being to nice is a flaw) but people are perfect for eachother, things won't get boring if you've found the right guy. Hope that helped
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2007): This may sound very cynical but it seems the worse you treat people,the more they love. Maybe there`s a subconscious desire to be treated bad by some people. My present one seems to complain only when i have done things for her. Buying flowers will guarantee i hear a list of my faults. Not caring either way will guarantee she`ll say i love you. No you havent got the problem,its just a case of waiting for a special one who accepts you for what you are and vice versa.
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