A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im in a real dilemma all advise welcome!!!its my friends birthday next week and and shes arranged to go to this place up london, the problem is im having real money trouble at the moment (she knows my financial situation) ive already told her i cant afford to go out. shes offered me to lend me money to have that night out...ive told her i wont be able to pay her back. I know i wont be able to relax knowing im getting myself into further debt. i know this may sound so trivial to some of you...but ive been told drinks at this place are three times the price of our local. im not in a position to be asking mum dad or my brother for money as theyre also having money trouble........................i feel as though i have an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2007): Travelling to London for a night of drinking is costly isn't it? If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. You'll just have to have the confidence to say no, and to realise that these things happen. Maybe when you have some more money, you and her can go out and you can buy her a few drinks to make up for it. I'm sure she'll be happy with that, but in the meanwhile, try not to let it upset you. It's just one of those things and I'm sure if the roles were reversed, a friend of yours wouldn't come to your birthday night out if they couldn't afford it.
A
female
reader, Pork Hock  +, writes (21 May 2007):
Ok, I've been in the same situation, not even a fiver in the overdraft to cover next week. Singing or writing poems as I know from being British given she is girl who wants to go up to London clubbing will probably make you never invited out again. She understands your situation, she's offered you the money but I think you need to tell her that the night would be on her or you don't go and she has to know that she is responsible for her buying your drinks. I think you are very noble that you actually care about someone paying for you for whatever, whether it was a night out or a burger. If she is a good mate she will want you to be there, no matter how much the cost of a drink. I know how much drinks are normally in the UK and for our American friends try paying $22 US for one drink, about 10 GB pounds. I was paying 6.50 GB pounds for a vodka and coke ten years ago so I dread to think what it is now.
I would think bringing her a bunch of flowers to her place the next time you see her would be better than buying her a drink when you're out on borrowed money. Hope you went and your friends were real mates. Good for you though for having ethics...
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (21 May 2007):
 You could always make up the night to her as well. Write her a book of poems or sing to her. Sometimes, it's the small things that don't cost anything that mean the most.
DV1
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (19 May 2007):
 Can't you just go and drink nothing or tap water all night? I'm sure your presence at the night out would really make your friend happy.
CD
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