A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I feel genuine love for someone, and I mean genuine. What should I do? The age gap isn't huge (about 8 years). I'm good mates with this person and the last thing I wanna do is screw that up, but I wish I could just find the courage to tell them my feelings. What are the best ways of finding out how a person feels about you, without actually directly asking them?? Are there certain gestures they make, eye contact,etc??? Is there any way I can find out what this person is feeling towards me...ie: crystal ball!!!.... Seriously though, there's gotta be somebody out there who can offer me a few tips on this. Offer me anything if you've got the time...xxx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): Hi
I'm the original poster of the question... I didn't wanna say it at first, but this person I'm talking about, is actually also female... So that presents a whole different scenario??? Please offer me any advice. I feel so down over my feelings for her, and I can't help but feel that maybe it's thinking the impossible that she'd ever be interested in anything more than a friendship. I'd just love to know and be able to tell how she feels through her actions and words etc. Can anyone help me???
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME...
A
female
reader, uhuh...right  +, writes (9 November 2007):
So, I'm thinking ... are you a cuddly person with this guy? Try it one night when you are together. Start being touchy-feely ... flirt ... to me, this seems the best way to see if he responds without stepping so far out that you might loose something in your friendship. If he doesn't respond at all, you can back down with dignity and your friendship might remain completely in tact. I worry about your taking a large step toward something more because it is usually the woman who is most afraid to ruin the friendship. It makes me wonder if he wouldn't have already "made a move" if he were interested. Try not to jeapordize your current friendship. It takes me SO long to mature ... with you friendship in tact, it may be that one day he realizes that you are what he wants. If you loose your friendship now, chances are, he will forget how great of a friendship you two had and move on. It's just my two cents worth. Good luck! :)
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (9 November 2007):
 Well there's no such thing as a crystal ball, though it would be nice sometimes! I would say, if this guy seems to make time for you, usually says yes when you invite him out for coffee, lunch, a drink etc. Isn't really seeing anyone right now. Seems to enjoy your company. Those are all indications that he may be feeling the same way you are. But one of you is going to have to just step up to the plate and say something about seeing each other. You could try asking him if he's involved with anyone (even if you already know he's not)...he may then tell you no, but he's looking....that might be your cue to say you're not involved with anyone either and then just drop it, but invite him out for another function or dinner at the end of your discussion and he should connect the dots pretty well at that point. If he says, no and he's not interested right now because he's recovering from a prior break up, or has too much going on at work to feel like he could devote to a relationship. Then you know you shouldn't push things for awhile. You have to listen carefully to these answers and take your cue from there. If he says he's not interested in a relationship right now, then just stay friends for awhile longer. His feelings for you may deepen over time and he'll change his mind. Good luck.
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