A
female
age
51-59,
*hippy2
writes:Here I am again - I thought I was making progress and I know that the boyfriend is NO GOOD for me and I deserve better so why do I still want to get attention from him? He makes me sick!Like last night he said he would call back and he didnt then I sent a txt this morning because he made it sound like we were gonna do lots of errands today - He never called and never answered the phone - then he called at 4 pm - said he was busy with kids and calls and playing video games - he is 41! He then said he would call before bed and he hasnt yet - this is nuts - I have better things to do I think! I know he does some drugs and is not a good father and is immature in his spending habits but he makes me laughs but also makes me sad - I know the answer is obvious but how do I break it off successfully after three years? They just changed my meds to a mood stabilizer and I can see much more clearly now - Is anyone else afraid to be alone?Please help
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female
reader, Chippy2 +, writes (28 August 2008):
Chippy2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all who responded - I just got a chance to check mail but will post another question....
A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Just keep telling yourself this guy isn't ready to have a mature relationship, no matter what his age. You are. And will in the future. But it wont ever happen with this guy.
What everyone else has said is good advice.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Being alone is hard but you wont have the constant hassle and worry you have now waiting for this man to contact you. He probably wont change and you will put up with this for years wasting you life away with a man who doesnt derserve you.
When I left my first husband I initially enjoyed being alone with my two kids but it was hard after awhile, once the kids are in bed and you have nobody to talk to. My only escape was once a fortnight when the kids went to their dads and if I couldnt find a friend to go out with I would be devastated for the whole weekend. I was lucky enough to meet the man of my dreams and if I could have looked into the future when I was low it would have made it easier. The thing that kept me going was that I probably would meet someone else and I was better of without my abusive ex or with someone who didnt make me truly happy. Dont think about it as being alone think about it as ending a damaging reslationship with someone who is not right for you x
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): My divorce has just come through and it certainly wasn't something I wanted. I have been on my own for about 18 months now and it is very hard but it is infinitely better than being with someone who doesn't want to be with you, doesn't respect you or really care about you. I ran myself ragged around my ex husband trying to make him happy and it didn't work as deep down he didn't love me. I SO didn't want to be on my own that I would have put up with anything. Even now I don't really like it but in hindsight I was just comfortable with that person and being part of a unit. Being alone is upsetting when you see endless couples everywhere but when you really look at them a lot of them you can see aren't happy so don't feel you would be missing out. Your boyfriend isn't nice, he knew you wanted him to call and still didn't. My ex used to do that and i used to hang around like a fool waiting for his call until I rang or texted and then I wouldn't get a response. Try and leave him alone. Ironically you will find if you don't bother with him the more he won't like it and will start calling. I don't think this chap is the one for you long term. He knows you will be there for him so he doesn't bother about your feelings at all. Get rid of him. I don't think you will be on your own for very long and even if are were i can promise you you will be ok. There is nothing to be afraid of. More than 50% of people in the UK live alone.
I have also noted that when men don't text or ring when they say they will then you can take it that they have lost interest. Try not to call them in that situation letting nothing happen rather than you being the instigator. I know that is hard especially if it is something you were hoping to do or had been promised but letting it go does work. They will then start thinking , why hasn't she called etc etc and they don't like it. This guy also sounds controlling to me so don't play.
all the best,
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A
female
reader, Lonannuniel +, writes (20 August 2008):
 You're right, the answer is obvious, but at the same time, that doesn't mean it's the easy one. I know, I've felt like that, but you can't let the though of being alone scare you away from doing what's really best for you in the end. I did that for a while. I stayed in a realtionship that was hurtful to me for far too long because I had gotten so comfortable with that person. I was used to taking the abuse, so I just let it continue, because it meant I was still "loved".(Which I really wasn't.) I was much better off by myself, than I was ever with him. And in the mean time, while you're still with him, you can't be taking that time for someone else who deserves you a whole lot more.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (20 August 2008):
 I think lots of us would rather be with someone but eventually you realize that the someone should make you a priority and if they don't treat you well then it really is not adding to your life, it is taking away. It takes away your self esteem and really makes you crazy, second guessing your worth.
After I divorced last year I was very afraid of being alone. I've been alone for a year and it hasn't killed me. It's no fun when you get an invitation in the mail for a couples party and you feel lonely when you see couples together. But when you talk of what is going on in your life, there are better things to do alone or with friends than waiting on someone who doesn't seem to respect your time or you.
Do spend some time alone and get to know what you want. I think you will realize that you can do better and that you deserve someone who will value you enough to follow through on what they say they will do.
Break it off and walk away.
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